It’s Never Mentioned or Talked About

MENTAL HEALTH:

“A Person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.”—Google

Often times in African Americans or Black peoples households, mental health is overlooked. Many dare not to bring the topic up because of how the family members will react. It’s seen as a joke and therefore swept under the rug. A few years back I experienced this. I was going through a lot at the time with my family. I was suffering from depression and had absolutely no one to talk to. I was trying to act normal like everything was okay. Deep down I knew it wasn’t. I started only going to school when I felt like it and wasn’t eating for days sometimes a week at a time. I noticed that I had become extremely isolated and rarely left my bed. I would spend hours upon hours sleeping. Not binge eating, not working out, not cleaning, not watching tv, not dancing. Just sleeping. My first love is cheerleading, always has and always will be. I stopped cheering and dancing instead stayed home and cried. I had no one to talk to. I was emotionally, mentally, and physically tired. I couldn’t express how I felt to anyone. At first I thought it was temporary but it wasn’t. My family completely ignored the fact that maybe I was struggling after everything that had happened. I was looked down on like I was a burden to all of them. I never mentioned depression to them because it would’ve been looked at as an excuse. No one in my family has ever mentioned depression until recently but, still no one takes it seriously. I lost hope and faith in myself. I was completely crushed. When I was finally able to get out of the situation and start recovering I felt ready. I had spent months in this sickening mindset and was ready to get out and escape. So when I got the chance I hit the ground running. I started focusing on me and my well being. Picked up my weight a little bit and getting back active. At first it was hard, when I started back cheering I would run half a mile and start seeing colors. I was dehydrated and still barely eating so I always felt like I was gonna faint. That’s when I started noticing how much it had effected my body, not just mentally but physically. I kept pushing myself to just keep going every day. Now almost a year and a half later I’m still recovering. Many times I think back to those days and just say thank you. I’m honestly so glad that I’m not in that predicament anymore. I was so broken and I’m now working on myself. Really putting the pieces back together. Depression and overall mental health is the conversation that no one is ready to have but everyone NEEDS to have. It’s very real and needs more attention in Black households. I don’t know if it’s the pride or whatever else but, it’s needs to be talked about. Stop calling us crazy when we say something about it. It’s very real and very much so a problem. The symptoms or signs aren’t always gonna be the ones you see in the videos or on tv. Just because you can’t always see it doesn’t mean someone’s not suffering from it. But then again, it’s the conversation we aren’t ready to have. —Leah Symona