In Love There is No Calculation

In the history of salvation, God gave Adam a command which is you shall not eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge. God gave men command to protect his freedom to love. But after the fall of Adam, human being grabbed and killed others without law. In the time of Exodus, God gave the Israelities ten commandments through Moses and men enter the age of law. When Jesus came, he opened the era of gospel and showed us unconditional love and forgiveness.

Our relationships with others can reflect our relationship with God. If we love our neighbour and hate our enemies, we may also in the level of one to one lawful relationship with God. If we love our neighbour and our enemies, we are like Jesus having the gospel love.

When we wander in the level of law, it feels like water without taste. No grace. No suprise. God lifted us up to the level of gospel through Jesus who loved us first and died for our sins unconditionally on the cross. It feels like wine with very strong love and passion.

You may feel fresh and interesting when you start a relationship or a ministry. You are willing to give out and sacrifice yourself with no expectation of reward. But when time goes up, the initial love grows cold and you start to calculate how much you have sacrificed and feel pitiful for yourself. In a very intimate relationship like marriage, we may experience this. After the period of honeymoon, when two people get familiar with each other, we start to demand more and more from others. We become impatient, critical and good at calculating. It maybe the same in the ministry. After you serve and sacrifice a lot, you may start to calculate how much you have earned and what kind of position you are in. Sometimes it gets so disappointed and annoying.

When the woman broke her alabaster jar of perfume, the disciples felt it was a kind of waste. They calculated it very fast how much it deserved. However, they couldn't feel the heart of the woman. Her heart was full of gratitude and love. She was so touched by the love of Jesus that she would devote the best and all she has to the Lord.

Love is sacrifice. Love is foolish. Love is the cross. It is suffering. In love, there is no calculation. Jesus loves us when we don't deserve it at all. Even when we were sinners, Christ died for us on the cross. Jesus wants to recover us with a complete loving and faithful relationship which is beyond comprehension. The gospel is a waste and it is a holy waste. It is a waste of time to choose disciples like Peter who was a fisherman with no wealth and social status. It is a waste of time to teach them. Even before the cross of Jesus, they were still quarraling who is the greatest among them.

When we followed Jesus and walked our path of faith, we will pray to God " Oh Jesus, I am so thankful for what you have done for me. I am willing to devote my everything to you. I have received enough grace from you. I can do everything for you and die for you. "

But after some time, our heart grows cold and our faith diminishes, we start to reason our past life and calculate our gain and loss. We may complain to God why you didn't give me this or that? In many churches, there are many sisters devote their youth to God and run his kingdom. But when they grow older and older, the initial passion runs out and they start to grieve about their lives. It may happen. But let us remind ourselves of the woman who broke her jar of perfume which prepared for her wedding.

Jesus didn't have to walk the path of cross in his age of 33. He didn't have to redeem our sins with his life. He did that because he chose to love us to the end. Yes, he made a choice to love us unconditionally.