If you are the victim in your life, I hope you see it and get help

I was in my late 20s and honestly had no idea what he meant. All I knew was that the world was against me, and nothing was my fault. I was also young and not raised around family members who encouraged therapy or healing.

To get through life, you put your head down, work, and eventually die. That no longer worked when I grew up and wanted to be an active part of society. I realized that my ex had a point, and I was depressed and miserable, so I got help.

It took a while for me to finally start to not feel like the victim, oh and I learned what the definition of me being a victim meant. We ended up breaking up, but the lessons I learned in that relationship have been with me.

I learned to take responsibility for my own life and what happens; whether or not others play a part, it is up to me to be in the driver’s seat of my life. With this said, I have noticed that not many people want to take responsibility for their own lives.

It is so much easier to blame others for our failures or issues. It is easy to say and make me do it; it’s their fault. We all know these people; they fall into our laps, and often their victimhood can be hidden for a while, then it pops up, and these people will even try to take the most level-headed friends and tell them they have issues.

They want everyone around them to be like them. It is easy for someone like me to get wrapped up in this behavior. I see it happening, but I also want to help.

That is the crutch of being born a healer, and working in a hospital for so long my job was to help you get well. It has been and is still a work in progress to separate this part of my life.

I still struggle as I see when someone is a victim, yet I also want to help, knowing how it feels. Yet that is no longer my place. I have realized that it is not my job to fix anyone except myself. I can not be a positive influence on those I love if I do not keep my head screwed on right.

I do not have time to be knocked off my healing to fix someone who does not want it, and most victims will latch onto someone who has done the work. Then they will lash out when you are not bothered by things. Nothing will break me; I will get upset and question myself.

Then I step back and look at the situation, is it mine or the outsider’s influence, then that outsider must be cut off; if someone is serving no purpose, I do not allow them to stay in my life. I know you think that is mean, but for me, it is healthy.

I do not tolerate anyone that is unhealthy for my mental health. They weasel their way in and appear as friends, but you must be careful. But, again, I am speaking to myself. They are typically victims and will eventually blame you for something, no matter what. That is when you use the block button.

I have told friends I will block people without feeling guilty, and they do not understand. I will cut you out of my life as soon as I think it threatens my peaceful state. It is not a threat; it is a promise. In this day and age, therapists can help you with almost any ailment.

A victim will tell you, that therapists don´t work, well find another modality, there are shamans, life coaches, and hundreds I can not think of, trust me there is someone for everyone. I figured it out, and I was hopeless, or I thought I was because you know — victim!

I am not perfect, but I have done my fair share of therapy and other personal development work. I have put in the time to heal and have realized that it is lifelong. There is no fast fix. Part of my therapy is removing people from my life that threaten my inner peace.

Accepting responsibility for what happens to me in my life and showing up every day. Yet every day is going to be a new challenge as this is life; I will have fights with my boyfriend and not understand my family; the only thing guaranteed is that I will live, and then I will die.

How I choose to spend the in-between times are entirely up to me. I choose to be happy, not the victim, and at this phase of my life a bit of a hermit. It is not a life that many others will ever understand, yet it is the one that I crave.

One that I chose. If you are living in a world where you are the victim, I hope you can have the vision to see this and get the help that you need. Life outside the victim mentality is much more beautiful than ever imagined.

I am also coming out of a COVID haze, yes my covid cherry has been popped as a friend told me the other day!

Stay healthy my friends! Mentally and Physically.

XOXO

S