Aging the good old fashioned way, in the time of Botox and social media

This year I turned 42.

Does this mean that I am officially entering the middle half of my life? Maybe, maybe not. Possibly more like a fine wine, it only gets better with age.

Like cheese, wine, and vintage clothing. The longer we are around, the more wisdom, experience, and greatness we hold inside of us.

Except the media has made aging something of the past. I do not have social media; in the past, yes, but not now. I remember seeing pictures of people, and I did not recognize them when I did.

There are filters for everything; it could be a few things, filters, botox, or plastic surgery. Now, if you choose any of these, that is your choice. I will never sit here and say do not do anything. It’s your life, your body, your choice.

The problem with the above is when it becomes fact: that you need to start getting needle pokes at a certain age.

When I was 35, my sister had a friend who was 40. She looked at me and asked when I would start getting botox.

We got on the subject because I asked her about a facialist, and my sister said she had a good one, so I wanted to go. I just wanted a facial, a peel, the usual stuff. No needles, nothing extreme. A standard facial that I have had hundreds of times.

She says they also do botox there, and at 35, you should start getting it to prevent wrinkles, and then she said like the ones you have on your forehead.

I was devastated; I was not about to have anyone come near me with a needle, especially my face. I am a nurse, but I’m not too fond of needles.

I do not get anything that I do not need. She then tells me, well, you will regret it, and at 40, you will look old.

This friend was always taking digs at me; I was nothing but pleasant to her. I told my sister before that I did not like her, but my sister only sees the good in people.

However, five years later, they were not friends. My sister finally woke up when she started being mean to my sister. So whether this woman thought she had my best interest at heart, I still refused botox, yet loved the facialist!

A couple of years ago, a friend told me to shove poison into my face the second time.

I was on a facetime call with a nurse friend who is a cosmetic nurse. She gives botox to patients in the home or an office, like a traveling botox nurse.

She looks at me on the video call and says, you should let me put some Botox into those eleven lines. I said WTF, what is an eleven line and keep your needles to yourself.

She said it would make you look younger. I am not sure why everyone thinks I want to look younger. I have always looked younger my whole life; when I was 30, they thought I was 20; now that I am 42, most people think I am more youthful than my boyfriend; he is 32.

So I am not sure what everyone’s obsession is with my face. I have never told my friend maybe you should stop putting so much botox in your face because you do not even look like the same person I met ten years ago.

I get it; we all age. Yet she is at least nine years younger than me. Her lips have changed; she can not move her forehead. Yet if that is what she wants and makes her happy, she can do whatever she wants.

Just do not project your insecurities to my face.

When I was younger, I used to be worried about getting wrinkles, and then with filters and social media, I was so insecure.

At one point, when all the nurses at work were getting botox about ten years ago, I contemplated it. Then the next day, I thought, what was I thinking.

That is not me. I have also recently stopped wearing makeup. If you want to look younger, stop wearing makeup use sunscreen and lotion.

Taken yesterday at a birthday party my boyfriend planned:) Taken with his phone that is as old as a dinosaur, no filters, no nothing.. a good old-fashioned picture.

Not everyone has the privilege of aging, reserved for those who have lived. I have outlived both of my parents, who did not get the benefit of aging gracefully.

Once I deleted social media, I stopped hanging out with people who only are concerned with looks. I realized that love and beauty are never external resources that we have to source.

It is an internal resource. No one will ever look at you and think, wow, is that a new wrinkle on her forehead? If you are emanating joy and love.

That will always shine through before any wrinkle.

I know this because it happens to me all the time. No one cares about my eleven between my eyes when I am happy. They want to talk to me and hear my crazy life stories.

It is never about the age or the look. It is about how we feel on the inside.

If you feel the need to get botox because it completes how you feel on the inside, it is your choice, and you are not trying to source an external resource.

Get your botox; I will never judge someone’s life choice.

I only have the issue when you project your insecurities onto me and think I care about my wrinkles; I do not.

They are lines that show I have lived and laughed. Most of mine are expressions and laugh lines because I am always smiling, laughing, and making weird faces.

When I am old, I want to look at them and think I laughed a lot, and this proves it. I am also very grateful for good genes and sunscreen:) No one cares about your wrinkles; they are signs of living.

So go out there, make funny faces, play like a kid, and live. That is the only thing we are to do in this life. Be present, live, and make it worth it when you look back on your life.

Make it one that you say yes, my life was amazing, it was challenging and emotional, but it was worth every second of being here on this beautiful earth; we all arent’ fortunate enough to live.