How To Tell If You Are Dealing With A Narcissist.

How can you tell if you are dealing with a narcissist?

They can be very good at hiding their true selves until it is too late for you to realize that you are dealing with a full-on narcissist. I recently had this happen to me with a long-time good friend Mecca Jones. I had no idea she was one until I lived with her, then pow! Out came the true colors.

Before we moved, she promised me all sorts of things. Help in finding me a job, help in taking care of my child, putting me on the lease of her house. After we got to New York, she did none of those things. It went quickly from I will help you to. You must do everything I say. Though I kept my word on everything, she has not felt the need to do the same.

She and her child treated my child and me horribly. They were disrespectful and nasty. Though I had to keep silent because I knew I had no leg to stand on because I was not on the lease. If I spoke up, we could be kicked out, and I did not wish to be on the street with my child again. So we suffered in silence.

Here are some signs to know you are dealing with one so you can get out quickly.

1. They do not ask you how you are or how your day has gone.

2. They can be as noisy or obnoxious as they want, but you cannot do the same, or you will hear gripping and whining from them about how rude you are being.

3. Everything is your fault, and they will not take responsibility for their own actions.

4. They change the rules to their own purposes and uses. The rules you must follow are not the same ones they have to.

5. Nothing you do is ever good enough for them. They want more and more.

6. They expect you to give and give but will give nothing in return unless it suits them and their purposes.

7. They only care about their need and their families, never about yours.

8. They deflect everything that may make them look bad or others.

9. They never apologize for the things they say and do.

10. They can be abusive with words or actions but make you think you deserve it.

If you should encounter such a person or believe you know someone like this. Believe me when I say spare yourself some pain and aggravation. Get out while you can.

I am not saying all narcissists are bad or dropping every person you know who might be one. I am saying this, however. If you suspect someone you are going to move in with might be one, don’t do it.

If I could take back the ten months, I spent living in this house of misery with this woman and her child. I would never have come here in the first place. I, unfortunately, had to learn the hard way, and I hope to spare others this pain and vexation I went through.

I have not been able to speak my mind for fear of reprisal, but I am taking the step I need to take care of myself and my child. Here are some things you can do to arm yourself if you should find yourself dealing with one.

1. Watch and listen

2. Have a backup plan in case things go south

3. Document everything. Either with recordings, video, or a journal

4. Do not give them anything to feed off.

Unfortunately, sometimes narcissist will not need your drama to feed off because they are usually willing to create their own, especially if they have others around them who are just as they are. Or people who cater to their delusions. They feed off the drama of each other.

My only suggestion is to get out as quickly and quietly as possible for your own peace of mind. No one is worth sticking around for if they do all of those things listed. Remember to love yourself and stay true to yourself no matter what someone else thinks or says.

I learned I am healthy enough in my own mind that I know what I do and do not deserve, and nothing this woman has done to us regularly is okay. Maybe she has done no wrong in her mind, I can tell you from experience that she has done much wrong. Though it will never occur to her that her actions are harmful. It can no longer be my concern. My child and myself have to be my main concern at this time.

So, my dear people, now you know how to spot a narcissist from a mile away. Good luck and be kind to one another.