How to overcome social phobia

Social phobia is a fascinating phenomenon that is uniquely human and is not seen in the animal world. If they repel each other, it's mostly for boundaries, territory, food and mates, or solitary habits. The animal's rejection is outward-facing, whereas social fear, which seems to be the rejection of some people, is essentially inward, its own rejection of itself.

I feel that I am not perfect, ridiculous or funny in others' eyes, and even read my own inner shame, meanness and morbid in others' eyes. I regard the normal behavior, voice and expression of others as my disgust and contempt.

The person standing opposite him is unaware that the true meaning of social intercourse has disappeared and he becomes an objective mirror of himself. A person trapped in self-rejection is an almost unsolvable psychological dilemma that can trigger an intense neurotic conflict with obvious tension, fear, blushing, sweating, agitation, and even flight. How can you escape if you don't like what you have? The emotional pain, shame, self-denial, and even self-hatred that social fear can cause will surprise experienced psychologists! Sometimes, it feels as if the desire to die is the only way to quell the anger I feel towards myself.

Whenever I am faced with social phobia, I am filled with cultural awe. People with social phobia have a detached, perfect and authoritative self in their heart, which controls itself with a harsh "must". When there is a slight imperfection in social interaction, a strong self-denial, belittling and condemnation arise spontaneously.

Who makes people have such a strong superego in their heart? Naturally, animals do not have a culture. Culture stimulates people's excessive pursuit of self-esteem, idealized self and honor, which results in a reverse, a neurotic repression and denial of oneself. The stigma of eastern culture may be one of the most important reasons for self-exclusion, so social phobia is so prevalent that Japanese psychologists simply call it anthropophobia.

But there's a deeper meaning to social phobia, and it's easy to get caught up in intelligent, sensitive, neurotic people who happen to be creative. Just as a colony needs only one queen, natural selection can eliminate potential queens early.

Neurotic conflict is a shortcut to self-destruction, and good people suffer from it to become mediocre and uncompetitive. How you interpret social fear is important. If you think your social fear is a disease, you get depression, pathological behavior, and failure. If you read that I'm not social, then you get time, knowledge and peace of mind. People who are successful in philosophy, politics, literature and science are mostly people who don't like to socialize.

Treatment for social phobia is less about the fear itself, and more about accepting the fear and overcoming avoidance of social situations. When I was an intern in the psychiatry department of a medical university, I saw a 22-year-old girl in an outpatient clinic. Her problem was that she was afraid to fall in love. Whenever someone tried to introduce her to a friend, she would faint with panic. Her doctor has diagnosed her with social phobia because it starts with a specific type of person and then generalizes to many people.

Psychological treatment, the girl began to talk to the doctor about her problems are also very fluent, and then the doctor pointed to me and said to the girl: "Good, you now as your boyfriend to do desensitization." As soon as the words fell, she was suddenly very nervous, her face rinse on the red, eyes buried, voice also tremble, people seem to be dying.

The girl's mother introduced her to a man who wanted her to go to see her next week. She was afraid that she would fall ill, so she came to seek treatment. The doctor said to the girl, "Don't be in such a hurry to make friends with him. Just go and see him, get his name and age, and tell me when you come back." At the second visit, the mother said she had done well this time and talked to the boy for more than half an hour.

"Because I just wanted to ask him his name, not that much," she said of the moment. The doctor is actually doing progressive desensitization therapy. But the doctor changed the meaning of the girl's meeting with her boyfriend. In the past, she saw her boyfriend to get married, but now she saw her boyfriend to ask the doctor for information.

By reconstructing the meaning of blind date, the doctor deflected her anxiety and alleviated her social phobia.

The cure for social phobia is to be honest with yourself, admit that you are socially inept, and allow yourself to be less than perfect and more of a nuisance.