Fear and Love

As humans, we have fear and love within us. We look at a baby, and something instantaneously in us wants to take care of the cute and helpless human. A baby ignites passion in hearts that the parents feel a state of love they never felt before. One of my friends stated, “It’s the kind of love you always wanted.” The baby brings the truth of what we are to the light. We all have a beautiful love inside, waiting to come out at the right timing.

When caring for an infant, the opposite of love fear, also rears its ugly head. We worry about the baby’s survival and anything we perceive as a threat we fear. Our love for the baby is causing us to scan for danger and keeping us on hyperalert. Have you heard of the mother’s instinct? Where moms can listen to the baby, make the slightest noise from rooms away. The hyper-vigilance comes from fearing the loss of the infant and the story we are telling ourselves.

For example, A baby gives us the responsibility of keeping a beautiful being alive and well. It is a selfless duty that tells us a story about ourselves. We are capable; we are strong, we are resilient, we care, we are good parents and selfless. All in all, whatever your story is down to the depths of our story is we are loveable based on what we perform. If we fail at providing for the baby, then we tell ourselves the exact opposite. We are horrible, not loveable, incapable, weak, bad parents, and selfish. Interesting how the whole story changes based on an outcome. The power in your life has been given to a child and its state of being in the world.

Being a parent brings more love into most parents' life, although the only problem is when the baby grows up and leaves home. That love continues with the child, although the daily source of feeling from that child's outcomes fades. The family has been left with a sense of an empty nest. At this time, people often buy a pet or get into a hobby that replaces the void. The position that would help the most is coming from a place of love always in one’s life. Not needing an outside source to feel lovable, needed, and wanted. Our true essence is love. The key is taping into it. There are many forms of training out their although few have the foundation of the unbreakable foundation of love. Most have you push your limits to see what you can perform. Only bringing the feeling and accomplishment based on an outcome. The sure path is with self-evaluation and the practice of unconditional love. Let’s take a look at some common fears and break them down to help bring them to love.

The fear of not being accepted for who we are: From the moment we are born, we are in a family and society with specific values and a way of functioning. We adopt the same values and actions as our family and society for sustained love and survival. When we are old enough to think for ourselves, we fear being who we are because we don't want to lose the love and acceptance of our family, leading us not to speak or act from our truth. Which means you are living for someone else truth. When we are not being true to our values and keeping integrity, it causes stress in the body and keeps us in perpetual fear. To lose someone's love is not as detrimental as losing love for ourselves and acting with deviation of our core values. This is where self-work takes courage and strength to have the love come from within, and if you are rejected, the love remains. Nothing can ever get in your way. When you are love, you transfer it to others, helping radiate positivity to the world and people will be attracted to you. You will rearly be rejected and when you do it will be from people who will not recieve love.

Fear of not performing: Fear of not performing comes from living a life of performance to gain love from the outside. I call this the overdoer/people pleaser fear. This fear feeds on people who want to do everything and anything not to miss out and to people, please. This mentality will cause you to live for everyone else and be so distracted that you will be further away from yourself the longer it goes on. This is a hard one. We need to act from the heart and our core values if you are an extreme athlete and receive love for your physical abilities when those abilities are gone. Where are you left? This goes the same for any performance at work and for your loved ones. The love you receive for your actions will fade one day, and your foundation will crumble. Without effort from a place of love, your empire falls. It has to be for the love of it, not for the outcome. This takes a bit of retraining because you have to evaluate what drives your actions. The activities you which aren't done from the heart take out of your life if possible or spend less time doing them. We all have worldly duties cooking, cleaning, organizing, etc., that need to be done. It should be done from the heart, due to liking a clean home and eating healthy to support your body. Maybe you don’t enjoy the task, although the reasoning behind it is coming from the right place.

Fear not being worthy of love: Worthiness of love typically comes from a family of conditional love or an abusive relationship with a partner. A partner or a family that withdraws love based on what you do is a dependent love relationship. It is a complex pattern to break. The story we tell ourselves is we are not worthy of love. We have to perform for another to receive love. Then we need to act again to continue to receive love. We find this in people who have achieved great successes and perfectionists. Nothing is ever good enough and always needing more victories, again from outside outcomes.

The key here is knowing our worth within. Then realizing we have much to give to the world, not by our successes, degrees, businesses, awards, etc. But, from our gifts, we have been given to make this world a better place for others. If our successes come from a place of love and giving to the community, it will fulfill us, and there will be no need for degrees, thriving businesses, and awards. The ironic thing is it will come anyway, but it doesn’t give you your worth.

Fear of something is wrong with me: I am different, or my body is different than most. Humans want to connect with others and want to fit in to be loved. We talked about acceptance from others already. The other part of this fear comes from the fear of death. Our body typically feels this way, and today, I feel differently. What is wrong with me? Am I close to the end? Typically this sensation is a temporary one, and there is absolutely nothing wrong. People, in general, hold onto the bad or the unknown and allow it to take control of their life. In general, I use a rule that if it’s not getting worse and if it’s gone in a couple of days, I don’t worry about it. I don’t evaluate it. It’s only a phase.

Now, the number one fear of humanity. No one is getting out of here alive, and we cannot choose when we go. However, there is a lot of denial and avoidance of this topic in society. I believe accepting this and living the best life you can every moment is essential. To live with no regret. The people who are in fear of dying aren’t living. When you live from your heart and the truth of your nature, there isn’t anything to fear. If you fear death, take a look at your life and see where you are not acting from love then correct it.

Awareness is being able to take a look at our fear rationally and emotionally while self-evaluating where is it is coming from. Change your conditioning from your society, family, and friends. Fear is a lack of love of oneself and belief in a higher power. Change your perception to a place of love and acceptance, and your situation changes before your eyes. It’s the key to freedom. Believe all is taken care of, and you are loved unconditionally. Then you will see you are supported no matter the circumstance. When you feel supported by love, you are free from fear and gain freedom to live the life you chose.