Depression Does Not Own You..

Depression can take away your ability to enjoy the beauty of life, it feels like a dark cloud follows you every where you go, you have no desire to do fun and productive things. When dealing with the weight of depression you would rather be isolated and not be around people who are in such a good mood. You will develop a bad self-image, which will cause you to have low self-esteem, looking in the mirror will be the hardest thing to do, depression will actually cause you to believe that you are better off not being here. You go to work, school, and do your daily routines with a forced smile, you’ve trained yourself to appear to be ok in front of others. But little do people know, is that you were contemplating suicide the night before.

You consider yourself to be weak, useless and loveless, you believe that there is no purpose in this world for you, because your emotions, thoughts and feelings bullies you on a constant basics and holds you hostage. Your bed has become your “comfort zone” and your “safe space”, you lay there, you dwell in the negative thoughts of how horrible you are, you don’t wrestle with the thoughts that are formed in your mind, but allow them to marinate in your mind long enough to get in your heart, now you believe every negative thought you’ve produced.

How do I know all of this? Because I suffered from depression for over three decades and when I looked back on why I suffered, it all started with a thought, I dealt with verbal abuse from my grandmother as a child and I dealt with my family criticizing me about my weight. I never received positive affirmations, I dealt with trauma which led me to see myself in a horrible way. Then I learned that I had to put in the work, undo all of the harm that was done to me. Everyday I have to re-affirm myself and tell myself something positive, I intentionally listen to audios and watch videos that will encourage me and leave me feeling positive.

Everyday challenge yourself to do something positive even if it hurts, take baby steps, fight against your thoughts, write down positive things about you. Get a therapist to help you get to the root of why you are depressed and start to deal with any trauma and open wounds. Forgive anybody that has hurt you, so that you can be free from the side effects of unforgiveness. Try to avoid laying down for long periods of times so that you will not allow your thoughts to direct your mood for the day, when you open your eyes after waking up, start to speak out loud positive affirmations and say that you are going to have a great day, you are wonderful, you are loved, you are not alone, you have to take control and speak life into yourself.

Take it one day at a time, remain consistence even if it’s uncomfortable, eventually you will have your freedom back and you will start living again. Trust me, I am a witness! Do not be afraid to talk to anyone find someone that you can trust, you need a support system, isolation is dangerous, get around people who makes you laugh and smile. It’s time to start your journey and get your life back, you have a purpose, you were created to do something great. Do not allow your past, traumas, mistakes or anything that has been done to stop you from moving forwards, do not allow your emotions, thoughts and feelings to rule over you ever again. Take Control!