Day 6 of Lockdown in the UK

Its day 6 of lock-down and I’m still in a state of shock, it’s hard to imagine that it was only a few weeks ago we was all getting on with our lives, I was just coming back from a course in wales, walking to the local pub to meet my daughters and planning with them our 4 day holiday in April, now everything is on hold, life has simply stopped.

Today is such a beautiful sunny day, the sky is blue, and I can feel the spring sun through the windows of my daughters flat. How spiteful of the sun to bring such a wonderful day when no one can go out and enjoy the spring air, most people are inside now and looking out of the living room windows right now, the only beings outside in this glorious day, is that black and white cat that just happens to be laying on the green grass outside of the window, mocking us with his cruel and wicked expression as he lazily washes his face with his paws and the birds singing away happily in the trees just outside of the window.

The panic in our little sea side town has died down now, the first few days saw panicked people flocking to supermarkets and the drug store, everything from loo rolls to rice to paracetamol was brought up by those who have extra money leaving those that don’t to go without moreover, where did all the gin go?. People in our little town just went crazy and it was really unlike them, people were scared but once they regained their senses they changed their shopping habits, but not until baby-milk hit Facebook market place for 5 times that in which it cost.

My little town is just amazing, I love this part of Cornwall and feel so blessed to live here, but this past week I have not only seen but truly felt why this town is the most gentle and wonderful place in Cornwall, people coming together helping each other out, shopping for the vulnerable , chefs who have found themselves out of work are coming in the soup kitchen for the homeless and cooking for the vulnerable who are in lockdown and the homeless so they are able to take away meals with them, others are driving 30 plus meals to people’s homes, I’ve been baking and walking my cakes down the road to the soup kitchen. You could lay the greatest cities down at my feet and I would still choose my little town over them all.

In Cornwall we have one main hospital and usually it’s under a lot of strain at the best of times, but all eyes are on the disasters that are unfolding in the big cities, people are scared and making plans to come down to Cornwall and other country places to get away from the stress and worry in the city, which is now panicking our own residents here in Cornwall, we already have insufficient health care and unsure if it’s going to cope for its residents in Cornwall never mind others as well. The situation is bad and even if people come down from up country we will cope because that’s what we do.

I heard there that there were people with the virus in the main hospital and for a moment I wanted to put a post-up on Facebook, is everyone okay, but to be honest I feared the answer. over the last two years I have already lost too many people close to me, just the idea of losing more to this virus filled me with dread that in the end I couldn’t ask the question.

The UK is in coronavirus lock-down until April 13th at the very least, but the news reports are saying this could go on for months, Boris Johnson continues to do his duties from isolation after testing positive himself, I never voted for him, never wanted him and I don’t trust his party, however: he may be the prime minster that we need right now. He has written to every household to warn us that things will get worse before they get better, he hints that there could be tougher measures and normal life may not return to normal for more than six months, whats normal? its been less than a week and I can’t even remember what normal is now however, another six months, many of us are having trouble with 6 days never mind 6 months.

Scrolling on Facebook today, I come across that stopped my heart, A young man posted a video of him seating in his van, pouring of emotion, the poor lad had just lost his mum to the virus, he was trying his best to hold himself together but when he started talking about his family and how he couldn’t even hug his siblings and give them the support they needed, the mother in me come boosting out, I wanted to pull him out of his van and hug him.

The NHS are preparing for the most difficult week as the virus continues to wreak chaos across the country, the The ExCeL building has been taking over and will become the NHS Nightingale hospital for patients with the coronavirus, they were saying on the news that the first 500 beds well be ready in the next few days, but they are working towards another 3500 beds. 4000 beds in total in this soulless building and other hospitals such as this being built around the country, the scale of things happening now are so mind blowing that it’s hard to get your head around.

The government is doing its best to prepare for what’s about to happen, people staying in their homes, doing what they have been advised, dogs being walked once a day, others working from home, kids playing in their bedrooms, it would all seem that everyone is trying their best and then what pops up in the news?, A house party, 25 people were sent home after reports of a house party, and other reports of pubs selling tickets for lock-ins, how completely selfish do you have to be to throw parties and have lock ins, putting other people at risk when most of the country is Going sacrificing and putting their life’s on hold.

This lock-down is coursing cruel issues for people with mental health, I’m a little used to locking myself away for weeks at a time because of my own immune disease, but even I’m having trouble getting outside of my head at the moment. I was fine until I went to babysit the grand-baby so that my daughter could go to work, I was talking to a lady in her block when she said, this lock-down is making her feel like she’s waiting to die.

Waiting to die, what a horrible way to think of things, I try so hard to stay positive and was doing a good job until this lady said that: to her it feels like she waiting to die and now I can't get the thought out of my own head. Are we really waiting for death?

This ladies words started ringing in my ears, it’s so unlike me to allow this kind of anxiety to carry on, I have coping tools to help me deal with these kinds of thoughts, but her words carried on ringing in my head. Should I be writing letters to my girls for after I’m gone. Should I write my will out, not that I have anything to leave, Should I tell people how much they mean to me moreover, if I know do these things am I admitting to myself that that woman was right, are we really waiting for death?.