Covid diary, day 600

To start with I had a positive covid test on December third 2020. I am suffering still and day 600 sounded a reasonable guess. It was a bad start, I found out I hadn't had a deserved promotion and went to bed disappointed. I woke up feeling rough and so took a covid test. Three days later covid was confirmed.

As I am a frontline carer I had covid test kids at home, ready for weekly tests. My luck has been so bad it was always a case of when it would get me rather then if I would get it. There followed an initial 6 months of bad chest, poor breathing and zero energy. I struggled to walk to the nearest shops, barely 200 yards away. My job needs focus, energy and ability to move so I didn't work for over 5 months. Often sleeping the night through but needing one or two sleeps during the day.

I was also left with constant chest pain, a problem I have to this day. I am on 3 large pain killers a day plus back up tramadol for when the pain is to bad for 3 nurofen 800mg tablets. Over time my breathing is better and my stamina is better, though both much worse then before. Work is very hard but I enjoy it and need the money.

Then 6 months ago the news got worse, just for a change. I was suffering more then ever with the chest pain, so I contacted the 111 phone service. For any non uk residents the service is for non emergency cases that need advice from qualified staff. I asked if I could take extra pain killers on top of the nurofen, the tramadol hadn't been prescribed at that stage.

The operator had a set menu of questions, unfortunately by answering truthfully about the pain and its location I ended up with an ambulance. They confirmed what I already knew, no I wasn't having a heart attack. Of course there was a but, they noticed my blood pressure was high.

So after some tests and doctor chats I have long covid, high blood pressure and high cholesterol to go with the pre existing depression. This means my blood stream probably has a street value as I know take 8 tablets a day plus any emergency ones as needed.

I sit here typing this 2 hours after my double nurofen intake and everything hurts. My hands hurt to type this, my back hurts sitting up and my shoulders just hurt non stop. I struggle to do a fraction of what I did before and if I try even a little more I suffer.

I am getting married in two weeks, I am looking forward to it. I am also worried for my partner who I know worries constantly about me. I don't know the sort of husband I will be or how my ailments will affect me long term. I am much older then her, which doesn't help if I am slowed down artificially.

I am eating less as don't feel hungry much but I cant exercise so not much is improving. I was going to the gym before I became ill but that's pointless now as couldn't do anything if I went.

I have a loving fiancé and a loving family but this is hard. I would just like a day where I don't hurt, a day where I can focus, a day I don't get out of breath within minutes of starting anything.

I would also like to be off the drugs but its a massive circle. If I could exercise I might hurt less and the weight loss would help the blood pressure. If I could exercise I might feel better and could cut down the anti depressants. The high cholesterol means I have changed my diet massively but doesn't seem to have done much.

I just need a break, please.