#BellLetsTalk pt. 2

Let’s talk about why we even need to talk. Why we need to talk but even more why we need to be listened to. Or about why we stay quiet although our actions may be cries for help. That our fears may overrule our tries at seeking help. That there are those out there suffering yet seem to enjoy making others suffer just as much or even worse. That being alone and being on your own get confused to the point where loneliness becomes great. That being not okay is not okay no matter how privileged one seems to be or how privileged ones are blessed to be. Being not ok is still not ok or ever meant to be an acceptable matter. That every life is important and we need to remember and embrace individuality so we may be able to find more to relate to on our story.

I find it impossible to heal to my full extent due to my mental illness and all of its causes and the fact that many others have it in them to live a better route but never get there. They never get there and then I also never get there because some like to prevent strategies that are healthy or maybe not so healthy because it doesn’t work for them but maybe it works for someone else and they need it more than your simple mind may allow you to understand of it for someone else’s story. In my life hard drugs saved my life. That may sound off because of the terrible stories ones can tell or even the deaths from drug use may make people raise an eyebrow at what I just stated but in my life and my own personal set they did and it helped me appreciate life and my life , understand my pain, and showed me that the feelings of love, happiness, joy, and peace certainly exist it’s just our distraction of negative mental health that interrupts those feelings from flourishing in positive ways and by forever making us know the emotions we crave or are in search for.

I’m not trying to romanticize the use of drugs I’m just attempting to allow people to understand my side of things and see for themselves why you should never let stigma get in the way of your possible understanding of what’s going on in the life of somebody else. For me so many people get bitter when i mention my past drug use. I say I’ve been clean for so long and they congratulate me yet I’m not looking for a congratulations I’m looking for someone to question my story and ask me how did it benefit me and how did it hurt me. I’ll never mention my choice of substance because nobody sees it for themselves before I’m expected to explain that this substance not only saved my life but it helped prevent me from that dangerous unknown escape that I used to fear all so much.

Take it as you will but my mental illness is no joke. Figuring it out is my main concern and I will work towards my understanding of why I had to fight such a battle until the day I die. That chemical imbalance that allowed my depression in is created by the bad things I witness on the daily. An estimated 8030 days of me existing on planet earth and of witnessing all the evil things, scary things and things that don’t need to affect me as much as they do on the everyday daily. The thing is these awful happenings still do affect me and that’s a massive problem in my world and for the worlds of others that do care and do want to live a better kind of life.