Alcohol — Drinking Part 2

Dr. Tedd Levin tells me a story about his wife’s father who was a brightly functioning alcoholic, who was an engineer. He took care of him as a doctor, his father-in-law just did not trust anyone else. He insisted to see him as a doctor. He died of liver cancer. This condition was related to cirrhosis of the liver that was caused by drinking. He stopped drinking when he was in his mid-50’s, even though it was too late, he developed cirrhosis, he died at age 73. His cirrhosis was treated, but it was a setup for liver cancer. Liver cancer usually develops in a cirrhotic liver. The pre-existing cirrhosis can be caused by alcohol, or infection by Hepatitis B or C explained Dr. Levin. It was challenging at times to take care of him since he was a family member. He died by his choice with assisted suicide, which had only recently become legal in the state of Oregon.

Currently, the preferred term is physician aid in dying. His whole family was there. Once he could not get out of bed without assistance and become incontinent, he just called up the family and told them this is it. Today is the day. He could hardly walk by that time; he was wasting away recalls Dr. Levin. He was in pain by that time and had no quality of life. All his children decided not to drink alcohol. They learned from their dad’s mistake. He discussed how some people just cannot control drinking alcohol and the use escalates while others can control their drinking. It is complicated he continues it is genetics as well as personal decisions. We discussed difficulties about alcohol that it is everywhere. He said yeah it is a pervasive part of our culture.

Paige shares that there is a lot of addiction issues in her family, her stepfather has been a “big-time alcoholic”. This created a lot of difficulties in the family, especially for her mom. Her stepdad was close to Paige’s husband they were doing things together, they both liked the outdoors. Her husband could not figure out that he had been drinking he was a “closet alcoholic” and they moved in with them to save money and that is when they realized what has been going on. He got himself into a hit and run, Paige went home from work to have lunch and there was an officer on her doorsteps looking for him. Paige had a talk with him about the unsafe environment for her children. Her stepfather went to treatment.

The problem was then that after treatment all the issues come up that originally started the drinking. Her stepfather was abused very badly as a child by his dad. Both him and his sister as well, Paige believes that there was molestation that happened to both of them when they were kids. His sister talked about it, but her stepdad did not, he could not go there it was too painful. Things were good for a while, but then he slipped back to his addiction. In a way, Paige felt that her mom preferred when her stepfather was dinking, because then she did not have to deal with all the other issues, and she know what he needed. Once stopped he become depressed and her mom did not know how to deal with it.

Paige describes an occasion when her stepfather got very sick from alcohol, and they needed help from the neighbor to get him back to the house. This was very embarrassing for her family. He was not responding well, and they did not have medical coverage. Her mom was not sure if she should call an ambulance. Paige told her: “if you don’t, he will die”. He made it through. Paige is still amazed at how long has he lived with the amount of alcohol he has consumed. His behavior does get very embarrassing for the family.

Chief Jason describes alcoholism as very strong in his community, he feels that this is very sad. He describes a personal experience when a field training officer told him that alcohol is a way to deal with stress. He was laughing and thought that this idea was ridiculous. He found this comment very amusing because it was thought in the academy and growing up that alcohol is not good for anxiety and stress. We talked about the misconceptions of alcohol that people think that going out and having fun and relaxing is connected to alcohol somehow. In my conversation with Tracy who works as a counselor helping families, she recalls that addiction was a big part of her family when she was growing up. A lot of her family was addicted to alcohol. Three out of 4 of her grandparents, both sides of her family-owned bars, and she was raised around the alcohol industry. She learned how to pour a beer and top a beer at age 4. She had worked in the bar after hours to serve her family. She played bartender. Addiction was a big part of her life. She did not realize until she become a young adult how unhealthy and dysfunctional that was. She feels her experience in her family is what drove her into her current occupation working with families.

She is working with families that are having issues with addiction, addiction had touched their lives.

Thank you for reading,

Gabriella

This book is dedicated to the memory of Bagóczky József my uncle who died at age 19 — alcohol related car accident and to everyone else who has been hurt or lost related to addiction

Many people had been supportive and inspiring to me so I could create this book. Both of my wonderful children told me, just write that book mom. My mom. I could have not done this without all the stories provided and the encouragement love and caring from my family and friends, nurses, doctors, counselors, teachers, professors, friends who are dealing with addiction and staying sober; and children, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers of people who are dealing with addiction currently. Thank you for speaking up, sharing your stories and life experiences. Thank you for all the people who read this book while in progress to provide feedback, ideas and encouragement for me to continue writing. I would like to say special thanks to my friends and family for believing me and encouraging me to go on.

Front cover acrylic painting created by Andrea Mihaly October 2019

Our Society: Addiction and More Uncovered. Hear the voices of everyday people — collection of stories and experiences.

Copyright @ 2020. 1st addition on Amazon KDP. 2nd addition Jan 2021 Barnes & Noble. By Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi. All rights reserved. Dancing Elephants Press.