Alcohol — Drinking Part 1

Beth did not realize that her husband was drinking heavily after her brother died.

He was drinking a lot, not just on the weekends, but he was drinking every day, missing out on family events, spending a lot of money creating financial difficulties for the family. When he started drinking her gorgeous, beautiful husband lost himself and the ugly come out. He lost control over spending money. His behavior changed. Sometimes we all miss things. Beth was in deep sadness about her brother’s death from opiates and trying to cope herself, she cried a lot.

It is hard to stay behind.

Beth ended up going to an Al-Anon meeting, she found an all-girl one, went to the meeting where they told her she cannot change the person they got to go and figure out themselves and they cannot come back until they figure things out. This is exactly what she did, it was hard, but it worked. Alcohol was affecting everything, the family’s finances, his job, their marriage, he did go into treatment when he was offered the choice and he is been sober for 5 years now. Even after treatment getting their life back on track together was not easy, finances had to be sorted out, family issues had to be resolved. It was hard for them. They did make it through. Treatment can help. It can work. It worked for Beth’s husband and her, it created a deeper understanding for her what addiction is. Beth remembered her mom saying that alcohol runs in her family. She did not realize it then but realizes now that deep down she knew it was a disease.

Mary described her father as an alcoholic who stopped drinking when she was 10 years old.

He started drinking again later in life before he died. Even though her father was drinking Mary does not recall her father being drunk or having any discussion about alcohol in the house. She remembers bottles with interesting labels in the cabinet, thinking back she thought it might have been whiskey. Once when she was about 10 years old when she heard some noise, walked out and all family was gathered around her father. His head was bleeding, and he had been in a car accident because he was drunk.

Her brother-in-law was a police officer who brought him home and did not take him to jail. Her father ended up going to treatment for about a month and everything was back to normal after that she did not notice any major change. Mary describes 3 of her siblings who are also alcoholics, one of her sisters had died. Her older brother also used methamphetamine with the alcohol. Mary’s sister did not start to drink until she was 60 years old. She started drinking so heavily every day that her kids had to set limits on her being around grandkids.

She was able to stop after about 4–5 years. Her other sister Evelyn, who died 10 years ago started drinking at age 13 and was drinking very heavily. Mary remembers Evelyn always was gone, always at parties, skipping school. Mary felt like Evelyn seemed to have something better to do than to be home. Evelyn had a very active social life that was revolved around drinking. The drinking did not stop even when she had kids. Mary remembers watching Evelyn and knowing that is not the type of life she wanted. Evelyn never looked good, never looked healthy or felt good. Evelyn was smart, but her intelligence was kind of blocked by the alcohol. Mary also felt very sad to see Evelyn’s kids grow up around alcohol, be around it all the time. Evelyn was diagnosed with breast cancer, was drinking through treatment until she died.

Mary grew up with people around her drinking at all times, yet she was never a drinker, nor she was ever interested in alcohol. It is interesting what makes someone more susceptible than others. Mary felt that people don’t drink because they are happy, she felt like her sister was medicating some kind of pain she had. Mary had heard stories from her older brother who is also an alcoholic and used drugs that he was molested as a child by a family friend. Mary knows what this does to the child’s brain and was wondering if the same thing happened to her sister, maybe that was the pain she was hiding. Childhood trauma can cause serious mental health and substance abuse in life. Breaks my heart that this happened to Mary’s brother and maybe to her sister as well. Evelyn never asked her daughter about her feelings and never talked about her feelings. Mary feels that something happened to her sister when she was a kid that she never disclosed and just covered up. Mary has 7 siblings and feels very sad that a few of them took the route of using alcohol, while others never even smoked or had a drink, yet they all come from the same household. Mary felt that is very confusing. She was wondering if the time between youngest and oldest kids has to do something with this, as the age difference between the oldest child to the youngest is 17 years.

Thank you for reading,

Gabriella

This book is dedicated to the memory of Bagóczky József my uncle who died at age 19 — alcohol related car accident and to everyone else who has been hurt or lost related to addiction

Many people had been supportive and inspiring to me so I could create this book. Both of my wonderful children told me, just write that book mom. My mom. I could have not done this without all the stories provided and the encouragement love and caring from my family and friends, nurses, doctors, counselors, teachers, professors, friends who are dealing with addiction and staying sober; and children, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers of people who are dealing with addiction currently. Thank you for speaking up, sharing your stories and life experiences. Thank you for all the people who read this book while in progress to provide feedback, ideas and encouragement for me to continue writing. I would like to say special thanks to my friends and family for believing me and encouraging me to go on.

Front cover acrylic painting created by Andrea Mihaly October 2019

Our Society: Addiction and More Uncovered. Hear the voices of everyday people — collection of stories and experiences.

Copyright @ 2020. 1st addition on Amazon KDP. 2nd addition Jan 2021 Barnes & Noble. By Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi. All rights reserved. Dancing Elephants Press.