ADHD Ask: How Can Use Our 'Out of Sight, Out of Mind' Powers for Good?

One of the first-mentioned symptoms of ADHD on most websites is being impulsive. Add this to make careless mistakes, find it difficult to organise tasks, and be easily distracted by other stimuli, and it really doesn't bode well for budgeting.

Having my bills on automatic payments only works to a certain point before I start to stress out. I don't know if it's the spectrum or ADHD part of me that needs that control. I love the automatic payments because I don't have to think about them, but also I'm still so aware of them and that stresses me out. I don't feel in control of them, even though I set them up. I am constantly worrying, can I trust the bank to do them in time? In that regard, automatic payments are useful, but also I do feel the need to constantly check on them. 

If there is spare cash in the bank, after the automatic payments, I struggle to save it. I'm aware of the money being there because I am checking the account so often.

Limiting our awareness of upsetting, distracting, and potentially destabilizing information is a very human defense mechanism. - financial therapist Amanda Clayman, L.C.S.W.

This financial hypervigilance is common in those who have a history of financial trauma or childhood poverty. The need for reassurance of having money in their bank accounts, checking constantly to see that we have enough money for upcoming bills. Even when we do reach a place of financial stability, that need to be constantly checking is still very present. 

Unfortunately, I'm so aware of the cash being in there, and I can justify that impulse to spend. It's usually on things I can consider useful or beneficial at the time for myself or for my family, especially spending money for my family. That is a massive loophole for me if the purchase is for my family. I recognise that I struggle to say no to them. If the money is sitting there in the account it exists, it's there, and I can use it. 

Cash Envelopes

Recently I came across the idea of The Budget Mom's Budget by Paycheck method. I just accepted the ADHD hyperfocus and dove straight into incorporating that process as my budget. I didn't have any sort of set budget before, so it is a major learning curve. 

One of the major parts of the process that is working so far for me is cash envelopes. After calculating what money needs to stay in the bank for bills, and calculating how much is spare money or to go to certain expenses, like my son's school fees for the following year, and then taking that cash out of the bank every fortnight when we get paid.

This is where Weaponizing ADHD is working amazingly. I have that cash, and I know it exists, however, because I'm not constantly looking at those envelopes, there is a point where it drops out of my mind. The 'out of sight, out of mind' is amazingly beneficial in this particular circumstance. 

Unlike the bank accounts, I'm not checking it every day, I'm not constantly looking to see how much is in the envelopes. It is no longer savings, or spare money, that money is for something specific. I can't justify taking that cash out of that envelope to use it for something else. 

I have learned that by taking the money out in cash, putting it in a specific envelope, and then putting it away safe, I forget that it exists as something I can use - because it no longer counts as spare money. It has a purpose. 

This especially works when the cash envelopes are for my family members, such as saving up for a winter jacket for my husband for his work, or my son's school fees. Because the money isn't for me, I can write it off in my brain. That money does not exist in a way that I can use it any longer, once it's in cash and in those envelopes.

I honestly don't know how long this will last. Let's be honest, once the hyperfocus wears off there is a good chance that I will no longer find this working. However, there is an equal chance that once it wears off, I will forget the cash envelopes even exist, so that will be a saving bonus when I find them again!

© Kristy Westaway 2021