ADHD Ask: Why Do You Make ‘Nests’ Around the House With Your Stuff?

I was tempted to use a photo of my own workspace for this article, but honestly, I was too embarrassed. Although I have an ‘office room’ with a desk, I move about the house to different places, like some sort of house-nomad (homad?).

I regularly move between working while sitting on my bed, on the couch in the lounge, and at the end of the dining table. Then, when I settle into a spot for more than a couple of hours, I also start to move all of my necessary supplies into that spot.

Diaries, notebooks, cups, pencil cases — yes, there is a reason those are all plural. One huge problem with ADHD is that we are often very visual to the point that if we cannot see it, it doesn’t exist.

For a person with ADHD, information and memories that are out of sight are out of mind.

This can lead to complicated and multi-layered systems of organization, which have varying levels of success. One Reddit user described the need to be surrounded by their required items as ‘The Clutter of Availability.’ That phrase is the perfect description of what we are trying to achieve.

It’s the same reason that ADHD homes often have cluttered benches full of items that we want to use frequently or just to remember that they exist.

I know that my ADHD nesting drives my husband nuts. I have learned not to react to his hands-on-hips, sighing, head-shaking reaction. I understand what he is thinking, but to engage in a conversation about it again won’t get anywhere. He cannot really understand why I do it, nor can I properly explain why I do.

Right now, there are two piles of items on the floor beside my chair. Photo albums, notebooks, pencil cases, notecards, post-it notes, my new budget folder — all things that I have needed in the last few days and will need again soon. I know if I put any of them away, then I will forget that I need them.

If my budget folder is tucked away safely in a drawer, I will forget to pull it out and update it. As a result, I will forget that I have a budget and that it needs updating. This will lead to me going over budget, and by the time I remember about the budget, it will be too hard to catch up to where I should be. So I won’t bother continuing and will put it down to my being lazy, not motivated, or not caring enough.

Can you tell I’ve been through that before?

Something that has been embraced widely is that people have different learning styles. I wish that it would be more accepted and understood that people have different living styles also. Can we move away from the popular ADHD people who are too lazy to clean up or Stop using ADHD as an excuse for thinking? For some people, living in a display home isn’t the best thing for them or their mental health. The mere idea of having everything out of sight makes me anxious. I know how many things that would lead to me forgetting.

Make lists. Okay, but how am I going to remember how to look at the list? Seriously, ADHD is frustrating to have and SO stupid to explain to people. We NEED the visual prompt of a notebook or diary on the table. If we don’t leave the empty sauce bottle in the middle of the bench, how do we remember that we need to buy more sauce!? Do people really think that we haven’t tried neurotypical methods of remembering or organizing our lives? Making visual nests, creating a clutter of availability, is often the last resort and the only thing that works.

If we have found something that works, we’re likely exhausted, and we don’t enjoy that we have to resort to making the house messy — if you give us shit for it, you only make things worse.

© Kristy Westaway 2021