A Thin Line

There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I sat in my basement/recording studio mulling over this concept. One month behind on rent, three months behind on my car payment, no job, and no money in my pockets. I felt engulfed by the heavy pressure of responsibilities in this world. A resentment of the mechanical nature of my society burned passionately inside me. I simply couldn’t stomach the idea of doing anything that didn’t light a fire in my heart. I’d seen how others have been compelled to enter into jobs and careers that did not resonate with their true desires and dreams. To me they were no more than robots; shells through which no creativity or inspiration flowed. However, to the majority of the world that seemed to be the norm. So someone like me, who was following creative impulses instead of assimilating to the slave-like culture of the world, seemed to be at the very best lost; at the worst, insane.

That dynamic brought me a great deal of anxiety. I knew what I was capable of, but I had nothing to show for it. I sat there in front of my makeshift studio comprised of a cheap microphone, a MacBook Pro laptop, a recording interface, and a pair of worn out headphones. As frustration and insecurities permeated my mind, I began to question which side of the line I was on. I put on my headphones and played an instrumental track. In that moment it became clear.

Songwriting is the creative medium that offers me sanctuary from the harsh nature of the world. I’ve found that there is nothing that makes me feel as free as being immersed in the process of creation. Making music is a transcendental experience for me. As soon as I hear an instrumental beat the gears in my head begin to turn. It is as if each key and each note resonates with a piece of my consciousness, in a manner similar to how food reacts with taste receptors. My soul lights up and my thoughts are released from bondage. All emotions that I may otherwise not have been able to express are somehow instantly available. Concepts, theories, beliefs, visions all come to be full of life; fully tangible. They begin to operate as living and breathing entities, ready to be transmuted and expressed through rhyme, cadence, symbolism, etc. The entire procedure is quite liberating. Within such a space I find I am bestowed with endless creative power. I believe such power is akin to the power of God. There is however, a price to pay for that power. The line.

The creative process is for the most part invisible to everyone except the person experiencing it. When creating, you feel what no-one feels, see what no-one sees, and hear what no-one hears. It is all happening internally. It isn’t until you bring your vision through to the physical realm that others can finally get a glimpse of what you’ve seen all along. People are generally not willing to accept or understand what they cannot see. Finding balance between the creative realm and the physical world, where harsh criticism and responsibilities exist, is no easy task. Therefore, many artists of all kinds struggle with doubt, fears, anxiety, even schizophrenia in extreme cases. I believe this is the line between genius and insanity. Those who give into criticism, negativity, doubt, and fear will likely feel insane. Those who trust in their authentic creativity, and follow through no matter what, bring their unique light to this world. They find true peace in their external world, through peace with themselves. In the end they leave everyone in awe, and create work truly worthy of the title, genius.