my feet are stuck in molasses up to the cuff,
its sticky hold on me surprisingly strong.
i bend low, scooping up handfuls to free myself,
gorge til my belly is swollen and tender,
and realize it's no longer hollow from
your aspartame promises–
that fake crap that poisons slowly.
instead the earthy sweetness covers the bitter
left behind on my tongue from the half truths.
my stomach churns,
the burnt sugar sloshing,
not quite mixing with the acid
you poured down my throat
as we kissed and clawed.
i'm paralyzed by my infatuation,
too drunk on you to know this viscous trap
is forming cavities.
not sure where i'd go but i'd like the choice
to be free of your velvet toxicity.
too bad i have a sweet tooth...
____________________________________________________
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Comments (13)
WHOAAAAA!!! I really loved the analogy you used here! Your poem was so intense, raw and relatable! I freaking loved it so much!
I will be 70 years old this summer and I can still remember how very good the taste of real chocolate (like European chocolate) tastes. Not even Hershey's is worth a darn anymore.
This is a very visceral and distressing poem. The way you align the images you have created and multiplied with sugary metaphoric consequences is disturbingly effective. The lines - i'm paralyzed by my infatuation, too drunk on you to know this viscous trap is forming cavities. is especially potent. This poem's stuck like treacle and then got under my skin. Really well done, Heather!
Great ideas! I think I create this toxicity for myself though rather than it coming from others as such. Drowning indeed! Excellent imagery buddy! ☺️👍
Good job on the poem, did you create the painting, I ;love it
Loved this, such a good comparison between artificial sweeteners and false love.. fav line had me smirking. "and realize it's no longer hollow from your aspartame promises–that fake crap that poisons slowly." *Chef's kiss* Absolutely loved that, great writing!
I love your comparison to an unhealthy treat to a relationship. That’s my take
Damn sweet tooth anyhow! Always getting us into trouble. (I type this as my wife is driving us to the dentist to take care of what they found at our last check-ups.)
Sweet!!! Loving it!!!❤️❤️💕
I could feel my teeth melting as I read. That sugary sickly annoyance really got to me! Hate that last line though! Grrrr. ❤️
Very nicely done.
Oh, felt this. Get outta mah head, lassie! Findamncincocincogutanmorgangibberish.
I do love me some red velvet. Damn