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velvet toxicity

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By Heather HublerPublished 3 months ago 1 min read
17
Created with NightCafeStudio

my feet are stuck in molasses up to the cuff,

its sticky hold on me surprisingly strong.

i bend low, scooping up handfuls to free myself,

gorge til my belly is swollen and tender,

and realize it's no longer hollow from

your aspartame promises–

that fake crap that poisons slowly.

instead the earthy sweetness covers the bitter

left behind on my tongue from the half truths.

my stomach churns,

the burnt sugar sloshing,

not quite mixing with the acid

you poured down my throat

as we kissed and clawed.

i'm paralyzed by my infatuation,

too drunk on you to know this viscous trap

is forming cavities.

not sure where i'd go but i'd like the choice

to be free of your velvet toxicity.

too bad i have a sweet tooth...

____________________________________________________

Thank you for reading!

Free Verse
17

About the Creator

Heather Hubler

Reading/writing/science/family=life

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Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

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Comments (13)

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran3 months ago

    WHOAAAAA!!! I really loved the analogy you used here! Your poem was so intense, raw and relatable! I freaking loved it so much!

  • Shirley Belk3 months ago

    I will be 70 years old this summer and I can still remember how very good the taste of real chocolate (like European chocolate) tastes. Not even Hershey's is worth a darn anymore.

  • John Cox3 months ago

    This is a very visceral and distressing poem. The way you align the images you have created and multiplied with sugary metaphoric consequences is disturbingly effective. The lines - i'm paralyzed by my infatuation, too drunk on you to know this viscous trap is forming cavities. is especially potent. This poem's stuck like treacle and then got under my skin. Really well done, Heather!

  • Grz Colm3 months ago

    Great ideas! I think I create this toxicity for myself though rather than it coming from others as such. Drowning indeed! Excellent imagery buddy! ☺️👍

  • Hayley Matto3 months ago

    Loved this, such a good comparison between artificial sweeteners and false love.. fav line had me smirking. "and realize it's no longer hollow from your aspartame promises–that fake crap that poisons slowly." *Chef's kiss* Absolutely loved that, great writing!

  • JBaz3 months ago

    I love your comparison to an unhealthy treat to a relationship. That’s my take

  • Damn sweet tooth anyhow! Always getting us into trouble. (I type this as my wife is driving us to the dentist to take care of what they found at our last check-ups.)

  • Babs Iverson3 months ago

    Sweet!!! Loving it!!!❤️❤️💕

  • Caroline Jane3 months ago

    I could feel my teeth melting as I read. That sugary sickly annoyance really got to me! Hate that last line though! Grrrr. ❤️

  • Hannah Moore3 months ago

    Very nicely done.

  • Paul Stewart3 months ago

    Oh, felt this. Get outta mah head, lassie! Findamncincocincogutanmorgangibberish.

  • Cathy holmes3 months ago

    I do love me some red velvet. Damn

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