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Unhappy Camper

Tent For Sale

By Earl W. PearlPublished 28 days ago Updated 26 days ago 1 min read

Again I’m joining up with friends, they love to fish and camp

I haven’t joined them once when it’s not freezing cold and damp

The “handbook” says it has to rain when setting up your tent

What’s wrong with creature comforts back where I’ve been paying rent

What satisfaction can I gain by pooping in the trees

Grunting while I’m staring up beneath a nest of bees

It’s muddy as I’m slogging back, my boots all packed in crud

I make a mess inside my tent, then realize it ain’t mud

Mosquitoes there are everywhere, they’re loving me a bunch

I’m pretty sure their leader’s yelling, “Come on boys, it’s lunch”

I’m fighting wicked thoughts I’m having, freezing in this rain

Would I become a suspect if they find my buddies slain

I hear that God forgives us just as long as we repent

Good Lord, what’s coming over me, just look where I just went

It’s been three days and STILL it pours, I think of Noah’s ark

If critters pass us two by two I’m leaving before dark

What fun is being stuck in tents because the weather’s bad

If hungry wolves attack my friends, I can’t say I’d be mad

So ask me if I like to camp, my backpack full of goods

I’ll answer, “Yes, if ‘camping’ means my hotel’s near the woods”


About the Creator

Earl W. Pearl

I’ve been writing poetry (rhyming mostly) since about 2014 and have recently transitioned to writing novels and short stories. My poetry genres are faith, humor, social issues, politics, pretty much any subject matter.

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Comments (2)

  • Rowan Finley 27 days ago

    Haha 😛

  • Andrea Corwin 28 days ago

    I was laughing out loud! After 21 yrs in Army, my husband will not camp because he has had enough of that - not fun! a friend and I once borrowed another friend's tent - he wanted to show us to put it up but we waved him off saying we knew how to put up tents, we are grown women! We drove to Denali National Park. On the way had to camp; it was raining. Tent wouldn't cooperate, we slept in my Honda civic. Get to campground, same thing - couldn't get it up, another camper couldn't do it; slept in the Civic. The tent was one that had to be put up a certain way, so we should have taken the lesson! I loved your poem, hilarious!

Earl W. PearlWritten by Earl W. Pearl

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