Tuesday Commute

I am ecstatic at being human!

Strutting through life, wandering through coffee shops,

Prime of my life and leaky pipes drip at the sight of my peacock

Feathers that I flaunt for all to see.

***

Taking in a comedy show, I laugh hearty guffaws,

Wanting nothing more than to sing and dance,

To be the center of attention as stores melt away,

No commerce or capitalism given room upon my stage.

***

The mirror in the bathroom reflects a stranger,

Full of mirth and generosity coupled with the delightful tinge of whiskey.

I am so glad to be alive!

***

Though confused,

Surely there must be some mistake.

These wrinkles and eyes belong to perhaps a long-dead relative.

Whomever this face belongs to,

I do not know them.

Gazing sternly, I resolve to trust and love anyway.

Displays of strength are most important behind closed doors,

Somebody else’s words interject.

***

No longer do I wish to marvel in thoughts

Dark and dreary, imagining the feel of entrails running through my fingers,

Of wondering how deeply I can insert my hand into myself.

It is not so bad, in the end,

to wander the dry and frozen desert alone,

Screaming aloud and listening for the reverberations off the icy dunes,

If shrieking echoes lead me to you.

What horrors would I face in their stead?

I must face only death,

And the possibility of dying having not found you.

***

No longer simply subterranean mycelium,

secure, stretched out, safe from the dangers of the surface,

I know what it is to dig downward through bowels of earthen shit,

Thinking.

Eating.

Devouring the creation that lies before me.

***

To be full of sorrow,

Buried several feet below the topsoil,

Lying alone amongst my friends,

Separated by the same wood and dirt

That we use to conceal our grief.

***

When my days come around,

Full of alchemical fire,

I struggle against Samsara.

Lighting up a cigarette in rebellious defiance on the exhaust

As Time streaks by riding upon a missile,

One hand firmly holding a 10-gallon hat.

***

Shocked in its passing, I am pushed backwards into a damp alley,

The sudden snap of garbage beneath my feet

Sending panic down my spine as I stumble upon a bag,

Mistaking it temporarily for a vagrant.

***

I shout wordlessly in surprise,

Unable to do much else as

My balance st

Umble

S and stagg

Ers and threatens to

F

Al

l.

***

I catch myself pon a conveniently placed dumpster,

Cursing myself as I cut my hand open.

Noting the possibility of tetanus,

I sigh in acceptance.

Tetanus or no,

What is done is done.

***

Stone wings flutter amidst the chaos,

Routine gluttony interrupted by the sudden onslaught of noise,

Irate in the reminder that other beings exist in the world.

The glass skyscrapers mirror their reflections,

Visages twisted in fear and panic.

Many of them crash into those very same windows,

Wrenching their necks and falling to the ground with a

Thwack.

***

I pay them little mind as I wipe my shoe on the pavement,

No harm, no foul,

Relieved that I did not bodily break another human being in my joy.

I pause,

Inhaling deeply the scents of the alley,

Urine melding with garbage, gasoline, and exhaust,

An exquisite bouquet reminding the sense of the cost of being alive,

Tinged with the regret of decisions made by those who came before.

***

Soft retching comes from behind.

Turning around to look,

An old man expunges his last meal upon the pavement.

An emaciated dog licks at the edges of the pool,

Eager to feed.

Watching with interest,

I notice the silhouette of a hidden cat,

Glaring at the dog with apprehension.

***

I gaze upwards,

Tracing the smooth steel and rough brick of the buildings with my eyes.

Drops of rain fall from my eyes,

Ecstatic to know what it is to love.