The ugly truth of loving you.

Leaves are burnt orange and falling delicately from the trees

As I drive carefully from the drug store

The song comes on that once made me feel empty

But now makes me feel whole but still lost

Long way around booms on repeat but the words are soft

An ugly truth you’ve hidden

The truth behind addicts

Behind drugs

A fairytale that could never be

A happy ending that could never possibly exist

A love who is sick and doesn’t want the help

And me crying to myself that I wish it could be different

A choice you’ve made

A heart that is broken

Flash backs to a loving phone call where you were still terrified

And you never stopped being scared

I didn’t know about the drugs

I had no clue

You wanted me to see you and still that’s all I see

Because you’ve fought so hard to keep a lot or maybe just most of the ugly truth from me

I’m giggling on the phone as I say as confidently as I could

But still as pure

Do you think we’ll end up together?

You said I don’t know we never met

Which was true, you had to keep the ugly truth. The bitter lie hidden.

I say sweetly and I felt so honest at the time

I know we will

I have this feeling

And I knew you were for me

I knew I wanted

Needed

Craved

Loved

You

I knew you were the one

Until lies start to come to light

The truth spills over and consumes our bond

Toxic shock waves run through your mind and into my skin

Love that was pure turns deranged

Drugs have created a home I’m not invited to

And have taken your life that I’m not free to join

It wasn’t true

You knew you felt the same

You knew it was me

You knew you saw this future with me

You never saw before

But staring at you with veins pulsing through it’s bright red face was the ugly truth

Drugs is your soulmate

Not me