The Trip Home Always Seems Shorter
It seems to take forever to get there and no time at all to return
It took a hundred years for me to turn ten years old.
My life defined by pre-set achievements:
The time before my mother died
The time before my sister arrived
The time before I went to school
The time before we moved, again.
~
It took two centuries for me to turn twenty years old.
My life defined by the pages in my poorly-locked diary:
The time I threw up in class and wanted to stay home forever
The time my grandfather died and I went to a funeral for the first time
The time my heart broke, and the next time, and the time after that
The time I saw saying ‘yes’ would allow me to build a safe home of my own.
~
It took three eons for me to turn thirty years old.
My life defined by marriage, motherhood, and square photos now turning salmon-pink in waxy albums and stuck-shut drawers:
The time I became a mother and swore to protect her forever
The time I learned my father’s rage could flow through me and break a child’s heart
The time I learned the difference between faith and a religion
The time I learned I was expected to present happy at all times.
~
It took an eternity plus three days for me to turn forty years old.
My life defined by the lack of letters and photos as I locked away sorrow in a heart held together only by the cold disdain that slept in 4/5th of our marriage bed:
The time that our dog was the only one in the house that seemed happy to see me at the end of the day
The time my holiday gift was learning the prank calls were really from a secret love disappointed that I had answered
The time that first of two golden children left home because I could never understand and ruined her life
The time I whispered to that frozen heart that I knew I would one day be alone.
~
It took half a century for me to turn fifty years old.
My life defined by a shabby box filled with receipts, business cards, and print outs:
The time I moved across two states and lived on my own for the very first time
The time I learned that love can help you drive 752 miles if the person waiting for you wants you as you are
The time I signed up for a dating site and met a man that had his own way of marking time that included room for me
The time I said ‘yes’, again, and got back to work on building that safe home of our own.
~
It took nine minutes for me to turn sixty years old.
My life defined in memories served up on social media along with my morning coffee:
The time I finally got a college degree and lifted my arms high in both joy and defiance- I told you so!
The time I fell into bed exhausted from do-overs and the third job lost due to a bankrupt company
The time I held a grandson for the first time, and the time after that, and the time after that
The time the world pulled their doors shut tight and we wiped down our groceries and started to bake bread.
~
How long will it take, I wonder, until I turn seventy years old?
My life defined by deferred experiences I once hoped to embrace and quiet joys that wink at me in precious seconds:
The time a sleepy voice tells me things are going to be just fine; I am not alone in the muddled blankets of sleep and fleece
The time the doctor said things are looking good and not to worry
The time house updates and expansive travel are considered and deep down you know that this place, this home, this life will always be enough
This time you know that you are living the gift now, no matter how brief it seems.
~~~~~~
FREEBIE #! for YOU. This free form verse was inspired by this real psychological effect.
FREEBIE #2 for you: Home shows up in many of my poems and stories. Here's one I think you may like.
Freebie #3: Sometimes you get a do-over in finding your home.
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About the Creator
Judey Kalchik
It's my time to find and use my voice.
Poetry, short stories, memories, and a lot of things I think and wish I'd known a long time ago.
You can also find me on Medium
And please follow me on Threads, too!
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Comments (18)
Wow!! This one wrenched my heart out. I walked with you on your road of life and felt your pain and joy. Well written my dear.
❤️
I knew this was going to make me cry, so I put off reading it (sorry, lol). All the feelings just bubbling up inside reading this and imagining what my centuries and eons and days have added up to. A beautiful but difficult piece to consume. Amazing work, Judey :)
I was so drawn into this portrait of a life, depicted in freeze-frames. I appreciate getting to know you better through this autobiographical poem-journey (whether the story is real or invented).
Oh goodness, I am a mess of feeling after reading this. What an impactful piece. And that title! Oof! 💗 Thank you so much for writing and sharing this piece, Judey. Gorgeous work.
An incredible journey and a wonderful poem <3
Wonderful read! Easily relatable. I loved it.
This is fabulous, Judey.. so well written. For me, it felt like a hundred years for the first thirty, and 2 weeks for the last thirty.
'J' ~ Moving On-Up through the 'Eons" You Go Girl! 'J' Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California 'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Author Community -
Judey, this is such a beautiful and emotional piece. 💕
Beautiful, and oh so true! Thank you for sharing this.
That was beautifully written! Both sad and uplifting!
Your life in a nutshell poem , amazing . I felt the emotion in every events
Excellent words and I have written about this before, time is governed by what we have passed through, as a child six weeks is forever but now it is a couple of blinks of an eye we think, though the reality is that it is the same length. Great poem
Beautiful and encompassing of all the pain and joy life brings. ❤️
Lovely written poem
24 hours a day brings with it so much more meaning the older we get. I really loved this reflection of time as it applies to one's life. 💖
A wonderful tribute to hopes, trials & tribulations, dreams crushed, hearts broken, hopes & dreams renewed & the fullness of a heart filled with love.