The Trials and Tribulations of being a Vegematarian Cannibal

my dinner

tonight

(and my breakfast

and my lunch)

once more

is no more

than a bastardised

tofu mannequin

a bean curd dummy

the rest of my tribe

gets to dine

on choice cuts

of some really nice people

and all i get

is a paste made of nuts

when what i really want

is maybe some ones guts?

but no

i’m a vego

these soy bean patties

really give me the shits

both literally

and figuratively

the worst is the nights

spent next to my wife

when i can i smell the missing neighbours

on her breathe

but no

i’m a vego…

but i’m a cannibal

like the bloke in that movie;

yeah, Hannibal

i eat roots and leaves

…no animals

this is my dilemma

not a parable