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Tears of an abusive man

"My Cruel Heart"

By Gloria PenelopePublished about a month ago 3 min read
1
Tears of an abusive man
Photo by Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash

Consequences of reckless behavior toward my family!

Do I understand why my heart was so cruel?

I treated my wife brutally.

I used to punish and beat her severely.

Nevertheless, the poor woman remained committed to me.

I was a lion disguised as a sheep.

My children were fearful of me.

Even my pets were terrified of my presence in the house.

I had a nasty heart.

I now regret all I did.

My heart drove me to do horrible things to my family.

I was not accepting any advice from anyone.

My parents were unable to calm me down.

I treated my wife as if she was my rival.

My heart had forgotten how much I had asked her to love me.

I treated her like a fellow man.

I promised her a good life.

I promised her a lot of wonderful things when I asked her to marry me.

However, I failed to keep my pledges.

Tears of my actions and evilness!

My actions toward my wife weren't exactly fair.

Now I am crying alone.

I was thinking about what I had done.

It was a horrible act on an innocent woman.

A wife who gave me two beautiful children.

What I did to her terrified her.

She ran away with my kids and disappeared for good.

Even my heart cannot protect me from the anguish.

The anguish I gave myself.

I'm in distress.

What kind of monster am I?

My cruel heart is in misery right now.

What shall I do?

How do I get my good wife back?

Will she ever forgive me?

My harsh heart is locked right now.

Even my brain isn't functioning well.

I was immature for trusting my cruel heart!

I still call her my wife, hoping she will change her mind and return.

My life has worsened dramatically.

I was a cheater.

I had multiple girlfriends.

No one loved me as much as she did.

Now I realize she rescued me by not putting me in jail!

She was a godsend in my life.

But I didn't realize what God had given me.

I blame my cruel heart.

My heinous actions began with my filthy heart.

I am ashamed.

I pray that God may soften my hardened heart.

I want to see her again.

I miss my children.

My life is no longer the same.

I still blame my cruel heart!

I tried looking for my wife.

But nobody appears to know where she went.

Even if they knew, I doubt they could tell me.

They do not seem to trust me.

They believe I'll do something dreadful to her.

Even her relatives despised me.

No one related to her desire to see me.

They know I was a beast to their daughter.

I am now stuck in my own thoughts.

Thoughts of the wonderful memories we had before I treated her horribly.

My heart is concerned about something that I will never have access to again in my life.

I will eternally regret being a narcissist.

I am still blaming my cruel heart!

© 2024 Gloria Penelope

love poemssad poetryinspirationalheartbreakGratitudeFamilyCONTENT WARNING
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About the Creator

Gloria Penelope

I create poetry, short stories, books, and articles based on my crazy thoughts and wild ideas.

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Comments (1)

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  • ROCK about a month ago

    Sadly, too many women ( and men) have lived with an abusive spouse or partner and kept it a secret. I had a very well liked ex who was an alcoholic and beat me into a severe concussion landing me in the hospital for nine days. It took months to recover and sometimes I have nightmares all though they are long gone. I hope you are not living with this and if you have, I do understand the pain.

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