Life by Misadventure

What just happened?

There was a loud bang as if my tire exploded underneath me. Everything paused, slowed right down until I could feel the vibrations of seconds ticking past - then something shifted.

‘Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-!’

The only word that could escape, the only idea that could make it past the stages of conscious thought all the way through to the mouth. Just that one expletive, I don’t know how many times I screamed it. I don’t even know for sure if I did.

Maybe it was just in my mind.

I lost all control of the car, it began shaking wildly like a bull shaking off an unwelcome rider. What the hell is going on? I don’t know how many complete rotations the car made - I swear it was three - maybe more, as the car spun uncontrollably across both lanes in one of those moments I’d only ever heard about - time slows down in the event of a catastrophic collision, maybe time is relative? Perhaps Cronos wants this moment to last? Either way I felt I was spinning for so … so long.

Spinning.

What’s going on?

Spinning.

I don’t know what’s going on, I’m scared.

Spinning.

Oh my G-

The spinning ceased but the car continued its unplanned trajectory, now skidding on all four tires to my left. Which way am I facing? If it was possible, time slowed even more - the distance between the sliding car and the tree in the median divide couldn’t have been more than twenty metres away. Yet it felt as if I had all the time in the world to turn and look out the passenger side window - to see the tree coming straight towards me. In actual fact, I was heading towards it. Only then, in that strange void of having all the time in the world, yet realistically only seconds to impact did I remember … I was on a Bluetooth phone call to mum before the loud bang that started this sequence of movements. Mum had heard the screaming, heard the cursing, heard all the panic, and now she would hear the final stop of the car.

Skidding towards the tree with ever increasing speed.

I’m going to die.

I could make out the rough pattern of the tree from here.

I’m going to die.

One last scream of that particular word managed to escape my trembling lips … not what I would have chosen as my last words if I had any control over my thoughts.

Close your eyes.

Time played its one last cruel trick and sped up once more, the last few seconds of my life would be in rushed … chaotic panic and fear.

I am going to die - I am going-

Metal shattered against wood at close to hundred kilometres an hour. Glass rained down from both sides, cascading in clear pebbles over me and the empty passenger seat. My whole body lurched, chest and waist squeezed tight by a seat belt fulfilling its design. Deafening echoes bounced throughout my whiplashed skull. Bare right arm flailed, smacking the door hard. The darkness of shut eyes interrupted by flashing phosphenes of light - dazzling and strangely calming.

Opening my eyes now. Shall I see heaven’s light or the depths of emptiness?

I saw the car dash. I saw glass everywhere. Things from inside the car not where they were before. Somehow the thing that frightened me most in this instant - I saw the Bluetooth call has not dropped out. The call with mum was still active.

‘Mu- Mum?’

‘What happened?’ said her voice through the car speaker.

‘I don’t know, I don’t know … Mum …’

‘Hey, you okay?’ came a new voice from my open window - open not by choice. Some tradesmen had seen it all and came to my aid.

‘That truck clipped you, are you okay? Your door is jammed, we’ll get it!’

Somehow, beyond explanation or reason, I was alive not only that - barely a scratch, just a slight bruise on the chest and waist where the seat belt dug in. One more half rotation and the driver side would hit the tree, likely a different story. Was it the slowed time that allowed the spinning to be just right? Was it a guiding hand catching the car after the truck hit me?

I was not yet complete, not yet my real self. Perhaps this was needed to crack through. To give the chance of having enough time.

Time enough perhaps, to live.