Self-Sabotage

Quick Note: As I was writing this I started thinking how preachy it might sound, but ultimately it’s really a message to me and whomever else might be listening. I’d been thinking of self-sabotage a lot the last week in many areas of my life..and came to a few realisations about why I do some things in the way that I do.. i.e operating out of fear rather than confidence etc and thus not attracting many good things because I don’t feel good enough. I think, for some, this is an unfortunate common thread in today’s society and greatly ties in with our true identities versus our perceived shortcomings which lead us to think of ourselves falsely.

So, a couple of weeks ago someone looked me in the eyes and said “YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING!” which was hard to hear, but powerful. And thus this little free verse below was born. A few mixed metaphors abound in the piece, but Whatcha Gonna Do?

I also couldn’t help thinking about ‘The Sunscreen Song’ from the 90s after reading through this. Obviously not at all of that calibre, but I use to love that iconic song/monologue, so I’ve included it below for those that remember it, or may need a mood boost. If you have never heard it before - stay for the vocals halfway through & towards the end. Enjoy!

“Self-Sabotage”

Glum, dumb & wholly insignificant!

Why do you feel so unworthy!?

Who made you feel this way?

But really, does it matter in the slightest now?

Why allow others to mould your identity?

Let those voices blow away in the breeze..

They are not your’s to hear any longer,

Just - work towards your goals,

Slowly if you must,

Remember the allegory of ‘The Tortoise and the Hare’.

Stop comparing yourself to others,

Such things are futile!

You deserve everything you have ever dreamed of:

Companionship, love, kids, a good group of friends,

Finances and - to be cared for & appreciated,

Maybe those little quirks you don’t like about yourself

Are what the best people like about you the most!

So, dial-down that switch of “I’m not good enough” -

You are!

If you feel low, time will pick you back up &

before you know it,

Hold you in its arms and tell you of its own woes,

Time doesn’t have it easy either ————

Stuck around for all time,

But at least they’re there for the good times!

If anything, lean on them,

Time will understand your trajectory!

Savour those beautiful times time allows,

Remember these fondly to pick you back up

Whenever you are feeling small.

*

Don’t let your inner saboteur take the reins,

Steering you… nowhere!

It’s your ship now,

Steer the course where you want it to go,

Make some sharp turns if you must, but

Have faith in your traits,

There’s no one exactly like you,

You are unique,

Trust in your abilities &

Watch your skills grow,

Perhaps, you might find yourself where you least expect..

*

Thank you for reading. If you liked it, please consider hitting the heart or subscribing for more to encourage my future poems, short stories and film reviews. Many thanks.

“Everybodys Free to Wear Sunscreen”:

(Unfortunately the resolution is poor, yet still good to listen to).