Outrovert
overt
Here you can drop your luggage,
There you can drop your jaw.
Ain't no love to savor, no rage to savage,
Let's close this chapter; let's call it a draw.
To and fro, your thoughts meander,
Your mind begs to surrender,
Pleads guilty. No mercy, no forgiveness,
Only bitterness. Deceitful as Venus
Are these emotions. All pretense, affectation,
An abusive, intrusive manifestation
Of fallacious composure. So reach
For the false horizon and teach
Yourself, once again, how to tell lies
And how to move your thighs
To the rhythm of this feigned joviality.
Counterfeit happiness in this hoaxing reality.
Ain't no reason to change anything.
Truly. Let us pretend to ignore the seam,
The surgery went well. Now, with a new face,
Go and perform your sacrificial dance.
The audience is watching. Look,
they're clapping their hands.
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Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Comments (22)
Well, they have to have something to clap at! Bravo and lots of robotic and maybe some human applause. Sorry I missed this before, and a tardy congrats! (I didn't hear the bell.) This poem is either too depressing or too hilarious to spend to many words analyzing, can't tell which yet. As savory as a skinned cat. Bye, til next time.
This is how to describe a narcissistic relationship
Goddamn, I feel like my brain is an idiot. But I finally get it, and GODDAMN, Andrei. Why am I getting the same vibes as your pigeon poem here? I feel like you're tapped in to the end of the world, the secret nefarious plots that I get tastes of here and there but don't fully understand... I bet you live in one of those Swiss tunnel systems... LOL "...So reach For the false horizon and teach Yourself, once again, how to tell lies And how to move your thighs To the rhythm of this feigned joviality. Counterfeit happiness in this hoaxing reality." WTF?? I feel like, over the course of this poem, the "you" person is completely violated ("there you can drop your jaw" --> "the surgery went well") in order to fit back into society, but it requires the sacrifice of their honest feelings and thoughts. God. Does horror have a poetry tag yet? This would fit. Like 1984 here. I almost expected to be asked what 2+2 equals. Whatever you intended this to mean (and yes, I would love to know), I feel like this could relate to several specifics, the most obvious being digital reality, whether it be on SM, entertainment platforms like Tik Tok, or even here on Vocal. "Feigned joviality" --> I feel it everywhere, though. I'll hush now. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️
Great poem, Andrei! Very thought provoking and fun to read! 🙌🏽💫👏🏽
Very nice! I love this so much - the intensity, the urgency - and the last 2 lines really pack a punch. :)
Nice written. Congrats on your TS...
Please, I just wrote my article, kindly rate it for me so that I can do better. https://vocal.media/earth/blossoms-of-life-ugb09h1
Nice piece and Congratulations on your Top Story❤️💯📝🎉
wow nice line, I enjoyed it. Can you check out mine? https://vocal.media/poets/the-crafted-heart
Woahhhh!! The rhyming and flow of this poem is so captivating! Love it!
Lovely article! Enjoyed reading! Read mine? https://vocal.media/fiction/an-irrevocable-dream-about-a-mermaid
I love it! 😍 " Counterfeit happiness in this hoaxing reality" is my favorite line.
YES TO THIS BEING TOP STORY
Yes! That last line, with the formatting and the build-up = full tingles. What a twisty fun-house mirror poem, showing a reflection of the performative parts of us/society that are always worth reflecting upon. Great piece!
Great work! I enjoyed this!
This is so raw. You are very talented!
Wonderfully and terrifically written. Excellent work!!!
Your poetry is next level. Could I read this on the podcast???
Whoaaa, this was so powerful! I loved it!
Loved yours and Hannah's comment sharing! Made me laugh! But never mind that. Great poem.
I cannot help but think, "Send in the Clowns" by Joni Mitchell.
I saw a comment today that in the grown up world of poetry, rhyming is considered uncool. True, very often true, I thought. Now I beg to differ.