Only in my dreams

All that was left, was me on the floor.. wondering why you were not at the door.

Knowing the only time I could feel you was in my dreams.

Knowing my anger broke the seal weakening the seams of our story when we loved one another but never took the time to show how much pain we ended up causing each other.

If only we knew that your lips and mine would first meet and greet each other with a dance of sweet nothings, would eventually flow to the end of the dance twisting into nothing that was close to grace.

From smile to frown you came in to my life and within a moment you turned me and my future upside down.

You got to fly away as I sat there seeking you out day after day.

They all laughed and joked as they found entertainment from my pain with each poke.

Him, her, they, them.. Couldn't help themselves from prodding my strength until I felt like it had gone and there was nothing left to do but choke.

Even the men in blue took their time while I stayed forever awake asking anyone I could, even those I couldn't see who chose to linger in the dark if they had seen you, even if they thought they missed their mark.

All of the apologies could never numb any of the misery as I sat there knowing each others' sides stories.

You wanted freedom, I wanted to share a kingdom. You wanted the same while I wanted what was best for out babe.

You felt like I didn't understand while I felt like the only way to be heard was to make a final heart breaking stand.

So as those who only saw headlines assume they never knew of how I created my own doom.

It has been over a year since I sent that text not having any clue what was to come next, so maybe after hearing these words humanity will know what it's like to choke on your words, drown in your tears, knowing it is possible to be the cause of all your own fears.