Ode to Canned Creamed Corn

What perverse, sadistic bastard

Woke up with his head on backward

And decided to pronounce you table fare?

Was he cleaning the disposal,

Saying, “Yum! It's so mucosal

And just look at all those mushy bits in there?”

*

I sincerely hate to lecture,

But the sad truth is, your texture

Is like something from a tissue in the trash,

And pray tell me, where's the flavor

That my taste buds love to savor

Of those crunchy nuggets someone had to smash?

*

Where's your cob? You've left it barren!

If you're on my plate, I'm swearin'!

(As if you could even stoop to stay in place.)

You're a horrible creation,

An evil abomination

And I'm not about to stick you in my face.

*

Please, begone, you slimy outrage

Made of yellow chunks and mucilage!

Go back to the sink you came from underneath!

If I must be forced to ingest

Corn that I don't have to digest,

I would rather wait until I have no teeth!

***

So, two great creators, Paul Stewart and Donna Renee came up with a personal challenge: Write a poem, story, letter, etc. for a food you hate. Then they told me I could play, and anyone else who wants to.

(As you may be able to tell, creamed corn in a can is not one of my favorite things.)

*** Wanna' take a shot at it? Just write a poem or story, or letter, etc. to a food you hate. PLEASE, LEAVE A LINK TO YOUR STORY IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. BETTER STILL, LEAVE IT IN THE COMMENTS ON DONNA'S STORY, LINKED BELOW. THIS IS GOING TO BE A HISTORICAL, HYSTERICAL SERIES AND YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT OUT!

Here are the stories from the instigators:

Donna's, for love (not) of marshmallows:

Paul's, written for almond milk: