Nyctophobia

The night time and all that comes with it is the hardest time for me,

and for some reason,

it isn't until the morning that I can find peace and comfort within the night.

Adapting to the darkness is terrifying

when you're lonely, and depressed, and paranoid.

Now tell me- how am I supposed to return

to being discontent in the darkness to start my day

after hours of learning to settle in it?

Finally the sun rises.

And I learn that there was nothing in the closet or on the roof.

The thoughts I had were being over thought.

I hear the birds chirping peacefully.

I see the soft sun start to rise surrounded by white, fluffy clouds.

I smell my mother's coffee brewing downstairs

as I watch her cigarette smoke rise up into the baby blue sky.

But suddenly, although I found peace, the light is too overwhelming,

and my cat is cuddling me,

and I'm comfortable now.

So I shut my curtains,

turn off the lights,

silence my phone,

and pass out feeling high off of the disrupting and exhausting, toxic cycle that I'm going to repeat again.

S.B.

Check out my photos and adventures on my instagram linked down below.