numb
standing still
sometimes i feel numb to it all.
i see life whirring by
in moving pictures,
scenes zipping past.
everything's a blur
while i'm standing still
in the middle...
and i feel nothing.
the colors are muted,
the sounds–muffled and choked.
all the good stuff has fallen
out of frame.
i can't move,
or i don't want to.
not sure i can tell the difference.
no one seems to notice
that i've stopped.
that i can't keep up.
i stand there silently screaming,
hoping someone hears me,
but no words come out.
it's like i've gone mute
and the world is deaf.
i'm not in focus,
just a blip on the peripherals
as life speeds along.
would anyone recognize the signs
of a life slowly fading?
i'm still smiling, laughing,
playing the chauffeur,
doing the laundry,
the shopping, the dishes,
making meals and donations,
going to doctor's appointments,
picking up meds, paying bills,
and running and running and running, etc.
life feels like one big et cetera.
my technicolor's fading from the inside out.
the hues are sun-bleached from age and abuse,
in shades of sepia and gray.
they dig into my skin
as the numbness bruises.
but i paint over all the ugly
leaving haphazard brush strokes,
one, two, three...twenty coats.
like new, i pretend,
but the damage shows.
no one sees it though.
no one takes the time to look.
all the people flashing along
in their own lives
never suspecting a thing,
while i'm standing still,
a pale imitation gone numb.
____________________________________________________
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Here is another poem if you'd like to take a look, written for my 100th Vocal story in honor of Women's History Month:
~
And another poem dedicated to my late grandmother :)
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Comments (60)
Ohhh....you touched my heart with your words. 🥺 Beautifully written, Heather. I want to be more aware of how people are REALLY feeling and hope and pray I'll be "there" for them. Such an important subject. Thank you.
You capture the current human condition very well. "When will it slow down so I can get off and be who I truly am?" I often wonder. And I wonder if others wonder. Nice poem, Heather - Anneliese:)
Nicely penned! As someone who struggles with mental illness and autism, this poem is relatable to me. Please check out an excerpt for my first poetry book, which was published last year! https://vocal.media/poets/excerpt-from-up-and-down-the-ladder
Thank you. It's like you somehow reached inside of me, and pulled out everything I've felt since November
Like trying to run in quicksand and not even raising a pulse! We are legion!
Beautifully written. I found myself relating to a lot of it. Thank you for sharing <3
Comfortably Numb!
wow so beautiful here is my first on Vocal https://vocal.media/poets/sensual-sway
This poem conveys a powerful message about the importance of recognizing and addressing our own mental health needs. It speaks to the experience of feeling lost and alone, even while surrounded by the demands of daily life. Through its vivid imagery and sensory language, the poem encourages us to take a step back, to slow down and prioritize our own well-being, even when it feels like the world won't stop spinning.
Great poem! Congrats on top story!
That line, "Life feels like one big et cetera." Nailed it! A masterful translation of overwhelming experience of many transmuted into poetic form. Top Story and Life Story. Well done!
Good one! Thanks for sharing Heather. 😊
I see you...I hear you... babygurl. A beautifully penned piece. Hoping & Praying that things brighten around your way very very soon. Sending a hug your way!🙏🏾Congrats on your Top Story my friend!
So relatable. Love this line, " my technicolor is fading from inside our." Expresses so many emotions right there. ♥️ Well done! Congratulations on your top story.♥️
Compassion ✨❤️💯😉Congratulations Heather🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Nicely done 👌. Congratulations for the top story.
Congratulations on Top Story!
Thanks, I enjoyed reading the most beautiful poem, it made me feel the numbness of life
Congrats on top story! ❤️ also this line hit me a lot!“i stand there silently screaming, hoping someone hears me, but no words come out. it's like i've gone mute”
I love the story! Also, congrats on your top story! As I'm sitting here, in that place, it makes me feel slightly less alone. Thank you for that.
Congratulations on your Top Story!!!
Loved reading this again! Congrats on top story- so deserved!
and there she goes again. Congrats on the well deserved TS, my friend.
Congratulations, on another amazing Top Story, Heather! I read it again, and it's just as impactful ❤️
Congrats on Top Story! I really enjoyed this piece the first time I read it, so I liked this reminder and chance to revisit. You expressed these feelings so well!