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My Apologies

by Incipient Poet 4 years ago in sad poetry
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I apologize for your mistakes. Every move you made, it was my fault.

Eyes glazed with ice cold hate

Tongue filled with deceit and sustain.

I can't imagine what lies in her brain.

I can't tell you the stories,

they'd bring back too much pain.

She changed identity,

like she changed her wardrobe.

Seasonal.

You wanted her to be there?

Seasonal.

I confront her about it

But now I'm being unreasonable.

She's screaming again,

Over my bowl of cheerios..

How for once I would love to finish a bowl of cheerios..

But I'm too much, it's all my fault

For wanting these simple things,

LIKE MY BOWL OF CHEERIOS.

For wanting commitment,

Though she was only handing season tickets.

So my apologies,

For being the reason you 'can't make this work.'

For "not being the one that knows all you're worth."

Although I have ALWAYS put you first.

And my apologies,

For "forcing" you to cheat on me,

Not one, not two, not Three!

But four times,

Scaring me with some

"Also I may have STDs"

But clearly, what is wrong with me?

I'm sorry for trying to leave

Every time you mistreated me .

My apologies for being so selfish,

As to want better for my future.

My apologies,

Although I stood by your side,

Every single time you took dive,

With a knife into my heart

Like cherry pie

And Pepsi cola tears to wash it down.

Although I spent most nights crying

Asking why I wasn't enough for fairytales

And happy endings.

Although I sat by while you passed yourself around hoping someday maybe you would come back around.

Wow.

My apologies,

For being so dumb so numb

so desensitized from the pain.

I apologize to myself

What I made myself go through,

Didn't realize that my health would plummet when I met you,

And I don't just mean that figuratively,

Do remember the time I was so weak that you had to feed me?

I apologize that I have kept this in so long,

I apologize I have been weak

Always trying to appear strong.

I apologize that you didn't know how to love,

And you may have cared for me but it came out all wrong

But I honestly believe you were a queen and I a pawn

In your chess game of a mindset

these were your games all along.

So my apologies if this sounds rude

But I wouldn't mind at all

Watching karma work on you.

And I apologize,

If this offends you

Or it seems out of the blue.

But real heart break is what you put me through.

So feel the pain growing through your veins

Like the drug you can't escape.

Watch your own heart mangled, hang

From a noose cut it lose

Before it stops bleeding.

My apologies,

For the pain you caused

The lies you told

The hearts you stole in the process.

An apology,

To myself

For allowing me to be

changed to shades of blue.

~blu

sad poetry

About the author

Incipient Poet

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