You want real talk? Let's do that. Let's unpeel every onion layer to get to the center of the truth. The truth that rape culture is nothing new, sadly its something we have been born into. Those who point and shout feminazi well that simply isn't true. What is feminism to you? An army of women out to destroy men? That's what I heard today from a white male again. But should we take a look at statistics? Approximately one in seven females report there sexual assault, and I can tell by your shifting eyes that you want to put this conversation to a halt. Do you ever question why more women are forced to be silent rather than speaking out? For one they are met with consistent doubt, and they know that men have a say and women are with out. Women get bullied harassed and degraded. And somehow our leaders never seemed more elated. One in four women suffer from sexual abuse. One in four! Yet we only hear about one "scam" on the news? Why are we not outraged? For our sisters, daughters, and wives? Why are we not in uproar proclaiming equal lives?! I don't understand how the anger isn't eating at our souls, I don't understand how evil plays such a big role. For all of your mothers worried about your sons, worry about teaching them about the statistics on rapist and not to become one. "Boys are not safe, this is a war on men." I want to shake you and ask you where the hell have you been?! This world has preyed on women for far too long, and I'm joining all the women who are rising up and anyone against us we don't give a f**k! We have stood and said me too, and you won't shut us up. You will never minimize or demolish what we have been through, we will only continue to rise up.
Johnny and Pony Boy
I finally have the courage to say what I have to say, but it's too late anyways, and I'm wondering who's to blame. Because I'm standing here today talking to your grave. I can tell you now, I never hated you, got very angry but never did I blame you. I can tell you now how those cigarette therapy sits looking back were ignorant bliss. One of the things i most often miss, even after I quit. I can tell you now that I have struggled with many emotions towards you, but never once thought I would see the day that I would be disappointed in you. At least not in this way. Tomorrow makes a year since your body has decayed, but somehow my confusion remains the same, and maybe it's driving me insane, but when you're lost what is there really to gain? You say to stay gold but as you left everything became shades of grey, what did you expect from pony boy when johnny goes away? You were a rebel with a cause, so misunderstood; I a girl with a lot of flaws and as wallflowers we stood. Lighting up blunts under the bleachers, blasting Dizzy Wright over the speakers, always having each others backs, things I can never get back. No one tells you when you are living your golden years, but now I know they are gone living with out you near. I can tell you now I hated the way you cursed so much, and how you were on a constant search only finding superficial love, I wish I could get into your head that you don't need a girl when you have ohana in friends. I now can tell you that you would have been a great dad, and everything, everyone you lost, you didn't deserve that. I wish I could look into your eyes when I tell you that you are the brother I have never had. I know how you wanted to live in the woods so I packed my stuff up and headed there as fast as I could. I think of you at bonfires and when I go on hikes, I think of you when I see my daughter, and almost every night. I think of you when I eat ice cream and lay alone in bed, I think of you taking selfies on the edge of my bed. I think of you hoping that you will come back, not accepting reality fearing it will set me back. I keep waiting for your texts, your yells, your calls, waiting for a "you are my family, I love you" before the sun falls. I am waiting to be okay with the thought of never hugging you, I am fighting to hold back all the tears I hold for you. I want to just shake you and make you wake up, I want to just yell in your ear in until you yell "shut up!" I feel like rose, yelling for you not to let go, as your body is already stiff not staying afloat. "Please, don't let go."
It always hurts when I draw a nose, not because of the nose but because of what i know, what i now know. For what I know about playing drums, and drawing noses is you never wanted to teach me those. You never wanted to teach me to play drums, never wanting to help mold me into who I would become. You didn't want to tuck me in at night, or be around when it isn't vacation time. You didn't want to teach me anything outside of the church, and even inside you taught the devils works.