Manual

Ringing but you didn't bother to pick

I think it's time we address my life together

We need a bigger candle with longer wick

I bought ink, just come with the feathers

Why do I even exist?

Was I just an experiment of your skill?

Did you have purpose for me?

Or was I made so randomly?

Some times I try to reach out

But it seems you locked me out

I wish things were like before

When I could just hear your soothing voice

I need to understand why?

Why is everything seemingly falling apart?

Why all this pain in my Chest?

Why all this anger in my heart?

When I try to be good, why does it all fall apart?

Sometimes it even feels like I am fox

Unwinding as pretence jumps out of the box

Each time I stare in the mirror I see one body, two hearts

I stay in my closet and cry but you watch and still say nothing

I need a glimpse of hope

I need you to give me a sign, in a word or in a ring

My confusion grows and hope hangs on a rope

What am I meant to achieve?

Who am I meant to become?

And if it is what I choose

How do I know when it's done?

All my mistakes and my wrongs

You knew they would eat me alive

But you just stood at the dining

While the heat steamed up my own eyes

I need answers

I need a relationship with you

I need to hear from you daily

I need a friend, I need you

Here I am crying again while I am calling your name

Give me a sign that what I do with my life is important to you

Show me I am not here my accident, a scientific vial

It's more than just guidance through your manual

I keep on blaming you so much

Maybe it's me that ate the fool's cake

Maybe you spoke and I never listened

But I am still the monster you made