Mad Tea Party

I planned a feast, just him and me,

A little afternoon party

To catch up on our kith and kin.

To my surprise, they all came in!

He'd called them all, invited them

To my snug and cosy den

For mirth and fun and deviltry!

And then... he SPILLED THE TEA.

Aunts and uncles, cousins, flocks

From valleys, canyons, sticks and rocks

In claw to form a family band!

I cannot fathom, understand

How this was right in any way

To bring them all to MY soirée!

Why on earth do that to me?

And then... he SPILLED THE TEA.

Oh dear! Oh my! I'm horror-struck!

My tea-time guests have run amock!

Swear-roars hurt my delicate ears,

Pterodactyls swing on chandeliers!

What did you say? What did you do?

How much shampoo must I go through

To spot-clean this enormity?

And then... he SPILLED THE TEA.

How did this all become MY fault?

To have some Compsognathi vault

My lovely chaise lounge, clean and neat-

And biscuit crumbs on every seat!

I wanted a small tête-à-tête

Not relatives from every state!

Why invite them all, prithee?

And then... he SPILLED THE TEA.

Stop this nonsense! Stop it now!

I will not stand this rowdydow!

Clean up your messes! All of you!

This monstrous raucous hullabaloo

Shall cease! Here is a mop, and here's a shovel,

Turn this messy broken hovel

Back to my den, so nice and clean!

And then... he SPILLED THE TEA.

And you! Your rudeness started this!

How could you interrupt my bliss?

An easy afternoon repast

Destroyed completely, it was fast!

Impertinent, thoughtless, presumptuous!

You're such an ingrate, Ignoramus!

Why spurn my generosity?

And then... he SPILLED THE TEA.

Oh, biscuits!