L A T E L Y

Things were off for a lil while,

My mind needed a break & I guess I needed some time,

To re-align and put certain fears aside or just take time to realize I’m afraid,

Certain things get in the way sometimes it’s like I’m frozen in place.

It always starts with just one bad day,

One drink or you held on to that one bad complaint,

There were a lot of days where the enemies in my head made me feel past faint,

Always trying to tell me what I can what I can’t.

I’m figuring it out,

I don’t care what they do I’m not counting me out,

No matter the mistake even if it seem like that I am losing my count,

There’s no going back even on the days it feels that my head is filled up with doubt,

I write it all out then I check in the mirror like give it some time and we’ll go and sort it all out.

Sometimes the change is in larger amounts.

I make a lot of mistakes,

Sometimes I convince myself too much that I need to be brave,

And I had to teach myself that it’s not alright to say that “this is okay”,

When it’s causing all this pain.

Make a listen of your mistakes,

You wanna be negative then okay,

Let’s see how much brain power can go into it since “I can’t” is all you seem to say.

How’s it going?

After the list is done,

Look at how many can be re-done,

With more skill or a mentor? You may need one,

Then look at how many are uncontrollable one and see if there is one.

Can you or can’t you?

Things were off for a lil while,

My routines started getting holes in them and I honestly didn’t even mind.

I let it happen,

Stopped it before it turned to madness.

Then my life went into great sadness,

The enemy got into my mind and tried to talk me out of my passion.

I lost my sense of time and I really wasn’t aware,

Time became my enemy and procrastination taught me again just his life doesn’t have to be fair,

Consistency getting worse and worse

Uh hello are you there?

Maybe, maybe not.

I sat for a moment with myself,

Checked in with whatever emotions I may have felt,

Letting the tears fall and wiping them away at the sound of foot steps,

I’m not ready for you to see me like this yet.

Lately,

It’s been a test of my bravery,

Sometimes I feel like nobody relates to me,

I listened to the Internet and I guess now my mind is wondering.

Lately things were off for a lil while,

Picking up the pieces from I am now,

I got myself back on track and I’m able to write how,

And maybe this help you or give you something good to read for now.

Life is not meant to be figured out in a day or two,

Some people died before they even lived I can think of a name or two,

Some people waited for the day that the change will come through,

Nothing comes if nothing is what you produced.

As things flow into our worlds then you too must flow,

Let your emotions fall on your face the emotion exist to let us know,

That we are alive enough to allow the feeling to get smaller or grow.

Dwelling is the issue, not being human. Allow the pain to carry on for weeks and weeks. Months and months. Do not allow yourself to dwell, but to feel. Experience.