Kannonsyn

i.

If yellow is to sun

And blue is to sky

Kannonsyn is to the warm contented sigh

That comes only when one has devoted a lifetime

To the service of others

With no desire for reward or recompense

And many years later

Sits curled on a comfy chair

With a smile and a tear

At the joy of seeing, after all this time, just one life

Better

Than it was before

ii.

I am faintly kannonsyn

I have not yet smiled

It has been some time

But not yet time enough, it would seem

And so I wait

And in the meantime

You have the shirt from my back

You have the shoes from my feet

You have my voice when you are being spoken over

You have my heart when you are being told you are not enough

iii.

Did you fall down again, sweetheart? I would say

You look at me with familiar glassy eyes that convey:

I am trying my best

But sometimes it feels like

Things are harder for me

Than they are for others.

Our tears are old friends now

Having met too many times before

I wring out my soul once more

And cover you with it

Like a cloak, like a coat

Now, hop on my piggy back while we make sense of this mess

Your words say piggy backs are for children

But I say piggy backs are for anyone who needs them

iv.

We talked again in the evening

We needed extra blankets because of the rain you brought with you

You didn't do anything wrong

But life was unkind anyway

All because of the way you love

So now I carve a spot in my chest

For you to rest

Your weary head

While I sing you a lullaby

Filled with butterscotch notes

Of a tomorrow that is nothing like today

My eyes are heavy

I will sleep another night.

v.

Why are you still here, after all this time?

Because I see you, I advise with conviction

It is my superpower

Now, what shall we do today?

vi.

We have a hundred more yesterdays

And a thousand more todays

I have grooves in the shape of your face

From my face down to my toes

And my skin is not as thick as it once was

Due to the effects of erosion

From your salty tears

But I suspend time

While you tell me how brave you were

And I stand next to you

With my palms against the rock

As we move the mountains

That were placed before you

vii.

I have some extra creases on my face, now

The lines of my life

My lifelines

I wear them like a crown

Once from frowns

But, no longer

Now you etch your pride in the corners of my eyes.

Remarkable.

viii.

Contrary as it may seem

There exists colours that do not exist

Colours that humans are not capable of seeing

The impossibles

That reside in a galaxy of their own

It's where your love lives

And where my joy

Will soon find its home

ix.

I almost did not recognise you

With daffodils extending from your every pore

And I think to myself that maybe all that rain

Was not in vain

As you walk tall

With sun-soaked stems

And finally

I am lacquered

In the sweetest kannonsyn.