Poets logo

I did not, do not, and will never, ask for it

by Skye Bothma about a month ago in social commentary

Sick of receiving unwanted attention

Maybe some women do ask for it,

but I most certainly DO NOT.

In fact I DO EVERYTHING in my power NOT to ask for it.

I don't wear shorts or short skirts in public.

I don't wear tight-fitting or sleeveless tops in public.

I don't wear make up or do my hair provocatively.

I don't go to bars.

I don't go to nightclubs.

I don't go out at night.

And yet, despite everything I do, to not ask for it,

you still come at me with the unwanted attention unwanted overtures.

The 'fun' flirting and flattery, that I do not reciprocate and creeps me out.

The 'innocent' but lewd innuendo, that's just plain sleazy.

The 'friendly' hug that lasts too long or accidentally touches me the wrong way.

The lame excuses to come round and fix something knowing I'll be home alone.

The sad excuses that you need someone to chat to because you're lonely.

What makes you think that because I am single and female, YOU have the right overstep the line?

What makes you think that because I'm single for so long that the line no longer applies?

What makes you think that it's okay to make me feel uncomfortable and even fear for my safety because you can't stay on your side of the line?

What makes you think that being drunk or high makes it okay for you to harass me?

What makes you think that because I'm kind, caring and nice you can make advances on me that you wouldn't do towards a woman who would give you the slap in the face you deserve, the first step you make?

What makes you think that because I once asked for a neighbourly favour that gives you an open invitation to make advances on me?

What makes you think I'll find it endearing or flattering when you call me gorgeous and pretty when it's inappropriate?

What makes you think that because you are an 'old man' that your advances are harmless?

What makes you think that telling me you're lonely justifies your behaviour? Do you think it's okay to guilt me into feeling sorry for you so that I'll accept your advances?

What makes you think that because you see yourself as a nice good guy that your behaviour isn't offensive and harassment?

What makes you think that because I've been single for a long time, that I must be desperate for attention?

What makes you think that your urges override showing me common decency and respect?

What makes you think I have EVER asked for it?

social commentary

Skye Bothma

I am a freelance editor and writer living the country dream in rural New Zealand. I'm terminally single, and live with my pet rabbit, Trixie. Visit my website at www.skyebothma.nz

Receive stories by Skye Bothma in your feed
Skye Bothma
Read next: The Shade of Disability

Find us on socal media

Miscellaneous links