Didn’t Know

They make me feel…

Insecure, angry, inadequate, on edge, like they’re going to throw me under the bus any second, shameful, sad, pathetic and so many other things I should not write here.

So what did I do in response?

I bought them red roses, wrote them sweet notes, sang them songs, bought them necklaces, helped them pursue their goals, told them they were beautiful, encouraged them to be successful, prayed for them, helped them seek their degrees, told them they were enough, that they could do it and I offered to sacrifice everything I had for them.

Deep in my heart, they still scared the shit out of me in every way and I just didn’t know how to change that.