An Ode to Caffeine

I wait in line to order a green tea.

The girl in front of me orders

an extra hot skinny pumpkin spice latte

with almond milk and one pump of syrup.

She pays and swears to her friend

that she knows all the ways to make a coffee low-calorie.

“No eating or drinking in classrooms.”

A girl spills her iced coffee

during a club meeting in Turlington Hall.

“No one will notice.”

A guy stretches out his arm

to reveal veins popping out

down the length of his arm.

He survives solely on sodas,

energy drinks, and occasionally fast food.

Proper nutrition is for the weak.

It’s 9pm. A group of teammates

are driving from a competition back to their hotel.

One girl requests a stop at a coffee shop,

sensing oncoming symptoms of caffeine withdrawal.

There must be more empty coffee cups

discarded each day in the library trashcans

than the number of books housed there.

This is college.

“Yeah, I’m just permanently dehydrated

since all I drink is coffee and soda,” a student shrugs.

“But hey, it really defines my muscles,” he adds, flexing his biceps.

“I can recommend energy drinks

for any situation if you ever need it.

Not all energy drinks are created equal.

Pre-workout, post-workout, homework, all-nighter.

It’s a subtle art.”

A mom of three drives her kids to school one morning.

As they pass their habitual stop,

“Mommy coffee?” the four-year-old asks with concern.

As she sips a certain brand of energy drink,

a college girl wonders how it has

unpronounceable chemicals in the list of ingredients,

a wide variety of flavors,

a dangerous amount of caffeine,

and yet 0 calories.