A Heart Full of Screams

A single thought hovered within my mind on waking,

A thought hell bent on destroying my entire day,

A painful shot to the heart as I yearn to hear your voice,

Missing you more and more, what can I say?

**

This time of the year brings back our golden memories,

As you stood by my side through thick and thin,

You’ve no idea of the year I’ve had,

Or the need of you this year did bring.

**

Your wisdom would have paved the way to a better time,

Your words enough to help me hang on tight,

This crippling beast that resides inside my chest,

Would have quickly given up the fight.

**

But alas, it’s never been more obvious that I am on my own,

Your voice was silenced much to my despair,

I try to listen out for the possibility of knowing your answer,

Because I know you’d never leave me in my moment of need without a care.

**

Sorrow washes over my soul because I no longer hear you,

My heart beats in a rush of tears and fears,

There’re days like today when I’m convinced I’ll not survive your loss,

Because without you life is a lot tougher than it appears.

**

Will I ever repair this gaping hole in my heart, in my life?

The hole that no one else can ever fill,

I stuff it full of our past, our memories,

But the pain leaks out, stifling me still.

**

I have to believe you would have stayed, if you’d had the choice,

That you’d not have left me feeling alone and stranded,

A voice of love, patience and infinite wisdom,

And your generosity and love never leaving me empty-handed.

**

I miss you dearly,

Wishing I could see you again,

If only I’d hear your voice once more,

A whisper that’d instantly heal my pain.

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Originally published on Medium