The Only 3 Rules For Life You Need To Follow [From Teaching My Daughter To Ride A Bike]

When my daughter was 5, my sister bought her a bike for Christmas. She loved it. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that it was pink or that she could finally ride to the end of our dead-end street (with my supervision, of course).

After several months, she was eager for me to take off the training wheels. She wanted to ride like the boy at the top of the street who was close in age but already moving without his trainers.

"Sure," I said. "But if we're going to do this, there are 3 rules you need to follow. If you can always stick to these rules, I'll help you. If you don't want to stick to the rules, or you don't like them, or you get so upset that you quit, I can't help you."

Like anyone buying a new iPhone, she didn't want to hear the T&Cs. She wanted to sign on the dotted line and get started immediately. Nonetheless, I went through the three rules:

Rule #1: You will fall.

"If you want to learn how to ride without training wheels, understand that you will fall," I said. "Falling is a part of riding. One can't happen without the other."

You can't avoid it. There will be wipeouts, spills, crashes, cuts, and bruises.

The first fall, in particular, will be hard and come as a shock.

As we practiced over the following days, she fell. The first few falls were hard. Hard for me to see at times when I let her go and hard for her to experience. There were the occasional tears, especially after a cut hand or bruised knee.

After the first few times, she understood rule number 2.

Rule #2: When you fall, get back up [and start again].

"When you fall, you must get back up because falling is a part of riding."

I had to constantly suppress my parental urge to immediately run to her whenever she hit the concrete or asphalt. Only when she was back on her two feet we had this interaction:

"Are you ok?" I'd shout. 

"No, I fell again."

"Well, what's rule number 1?"

"You will fall," she'd say begrudgingly.

"And what's rule number 2?"

"When you fall, get back up."

We'd then clean any cuts, get some water, and start again. 

She got the hang of it in about a week, riding about an hour a day. By the second week, she was making figure 8's while riding, and within a month, she was riding without sitting on the seat.

Rule #3: Over time, the falls are fewer but harder.

The third rule evolved over years of riding. 

She's now 8 and is a little speed demon on her bike. She's even trying to figure out a few tricks. 

Falls are rare. 

But when they do come, they are hard falls. Sometimes, the falls are due to a lack of concentration. She's so confident it's automatic, but that sometimes leads to errors. However, she's accustomed to these falls and springs back up. She even laughs them off at times. 

Other times, the falls come from pushing actual boundaries. These are harder and hurt much more than she's accustomed to. These falls even leave some nasty cuts or scars.

When they happen, she sometimes wants to stop riding then and there, but that's when I step in to remind her of those rules. We clean up, and she gets back on to finish her session. 

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I've been able to translate these rules to other things she tries. They also apply to anything new you will try this year, especially regarding business, side hustles, or learning new skills.

1. You will fall (aka fail).
2. When you fail, get back up and keep going.
3. As you improve, the failures are fewer, but the consequences are greater. Rember rules 1 and 2. 

Most people stop at the first few falls. But not you. Not this year.

Life is not meant to be linear. It's a flywheel motion that's moving upward. It's peaks and valleys as you get to the top. If you quit at the first fall, you're losing out on the opportunity to become battle-tested. You're messing with Providence. 

Remember the rules that have existed since you learned to walk, run, talk, play an instrument, pass a test, or build a business. 

This year, pain and failure are part of it all. So is getting back up.

Don't ever forget it.