These 3 Habits Could Be Behind Your Lack Of Success

If you want something out of life — a better body, more income, better relationships, and so on — it’s going to take sustained effort over a long period. That effort does not have to be superhuman every day, but it needs to be there.

Nothing’s new under the sun.

No fancy hack, skill, or course won’t get us there. It’s a sustained effort.

It’s not only a sustained effort on the things we should do, but also on what we shouldn’t do. I’ve been finding myself in this loop of:

• writing goals,
• getting motivated,
• making progress,
• getting stuck,
• failing,
• starting over again.

When I step back, it’s not always about the habits around what I should do but what I do when things get tough. Achieving what we want is far less about the task — which we’re probably good at — and more about what we do:

• When we get stuck
• When we achieve success
• When we get bored

Take a step back. Which habits are serving you? Which practices are not? If you were to break down your day, you’d see the habits that aren’t serving you. If you have the discipline and audacity to cut them out completely, you can change your life in short order. For me, these are the three habits that I’ve realized have been handicapping my progress for far too long.

1. Not going to sleep on time

I never thought of myself as a night owl. Recently, I’ve been going to sleep far too late. By nature, I’m an early riser. So, I’m listless, unfocused, and agitated during the day because of the lack of sleep.

I don’t get my tasks done, so then I either:

Pick up a second wind and try to do them in the night when everyone’s asleep.

Feel sorry for myself and binge-watch senseless shit on Netflix or watch sports until I pass out.

Getting high-quality sleep can transform your life. It can help you focus, perform better, and become more disciplined.

We have so many distractions and ways to deprive ourselves of quality sleep. It’s not only the reason we’re unsuccessful but could be behind many of our underlying health issues.

Sleep repairs our bodies and minds, and if you stick to a schedule, you’ll thrive.

Setting an alarm to go to sleep should be as standard as setting an alarm to wake up.

This brings me to my second habit…

2. Not giving my phone the space it deserves

I’m not a heavy social media poster, but I can get into periods where I’m a heavy social media lurker. Phones are amazing tools. You can literally change your life for the better with one. But for many, myself included, it can be a detriment to your success.

I stayed off social media for 45 days earlier this year. While I was a bit more productive, it felt like I started to consume more than before when I resumed. Phones, social media, and the like aren’t going anywhere. They are a part of our lives, and we can’t ignore them, no matter how much we try.

While we spend hours scrolling and watching videos, our circumstances are evolving, our partners are changing, and our kids are growing up. When we finally look up from our screens, we’d want to know WTF happened.

We can set healthy boundaries that allow us to work on ourselves, invest time in our relationships, and improve our businesses. To do that, we need to build habits like:

• A cutoff time so we can do our work.
• Switching it off so we can spend time with our loved ones.
• Curating our social media, so we don’t have things that suck our attention.
• Turning it off 15 to 20 minutes before bed so our bodies can adjust accordingly.

Your phone could be your master, or it could be your servant. We get to choose.

3. Winging it.

Imagine this. You get up, get ready for work, and head out to get the bus [train, or taxi]. When you get there, nothing comes. You know there’s a schedule, and you’re well ahead of it, but your transport is not there. Half-hour later, the bus finally arrives, you give the driver an earful.

His response?

Well, we’re just winging it today.

That sounds crazy, but it highlights the power of scheduling. As much as we want to be spontaneous, we’re creatures of habit. We expect certain things to happen at the same time every day. Even in our “spontaneity,” we do the same, or similar, things.

As a freelancer, I have set clients with set deadlines. My productivity increases significantly when I create a calendar with the required tasks every day.

When I need to guess, or I just wing it, I’m not nearly as productive. I open up myself to scrolling through my phone, doing unproductive tasks, and eventually missing deadlines.

It would help if you had a calendar in almost everything you do because today, you can’t trust yourself to conjure up the right things every day. More importantly, we don’t feel like getting some things done on some days. But if we look at our calendar and execute what’s there, we don’t need to depend on fleeting emotions like motivation.

And yes, we should get to the point where everything is on our calendar, like spending time with loved ones, hobbies, relaxing, and so on. It will take some time to get there — as I’m learning the hard way — but when we do, it can be game-changing.

Set yourself up for success

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” — James Clear, Atomic Habits

One of the things I remember from Benjamin Hardy, PhD’s book Willpower Doesn’t Work, is that your behavior doesn’t come from your personality. Rather, your personality is shaped by your behavior.

Maybe I need to reread his book.

Deep down inside is the person we envision ourselves to be. And, like an onion, there are layers and layers of behaviors hiding that person. Removing the bad ones, keeping the good ones, and setting up a system is what’s required. And the more we work on the system, the better it works out for us in the long run. That system is what transforms us into better lovers, more productive workers, and successful business owners.

How can you set yourself up for success? Write down the steps you’ll take to change these three habits. I’ve made it my mission to create a calendar that manages when I sleep, how I work, and what I’ll allow to distract me. If it sounds uncomfortable, then that’s exactly what you need too. Let’s build ourselves some systems to get it right.