The Face in the Mirror

I honestly don’t know when it happened or why; it just did. One day, one morning, I woke to a reflection that wasn’t mine. Not the way I used to be, not the way I remembered. What happened to the years? How did the kids grow up while I was watching? Time is so fleeting; the years come upon us so fast. Those long days of my youth seem like moments in this stage of my life. I find it amusing now when I fondle the thoughts of my past; how could I even anticipate the thought of living forever. Knowing that we are born into a world, knowing that we will one day die.

How fleeting our youth; to begin a downward spiral toward death—or is it upward towards life? My first battle with this woman in the mirror was the hair battle. So young was I when my hair began to turn white. It looked rather good. But I also looked like something that I was not ashamed of, but not ready to welcome. I felt youthful, but my hair dated me. Only my hairdresser knows for sure the measures I’ve taken to wash that gray out of my hair.

Taking care of the gray was easy. But the rest of me, now that’s a different story. That youthful glow, that tight skin without a wrinkle or age-spot. Wow, I was going to keep and maintain this “ageless” skin if I had to spend every dollar, dime and quarter in my pocket. The ugly of it all is that mother nature wins in the end. No matter all the measures taken, old age and death will find you. It’s just a matter of when and how. That whole growing old gracefully can suck at times.

One thing I have come to realize is that there is no avoiding it. It cannot be delayed or gifted to someone else, it’s yours and yours alone. The only thing that can be done is to accept it. That word “ACCEPT” can be a little hard to swallow at times. I find it funny, that as old as I am, I am still learning new things about myself. I never thought that growing old would bother me. Then again, I never thought that gray hair and wrinkles would be a part of my future.

ACCEPTANCE; it seems as if I always come back to my original thought: We are born into a world knowing that we will one day die. what’s the big deal. There is nothing that is forever about this life. Why do I find it so hard to accept the natural graduation of things? VANITY, vanity can at times be such an ugly word. The dictionary speaks of vanity as: “Excessive pride in or admiration of one’s own appearance or achievements”. In and of itself, it’s not a bad thing. There is a lot of ugly out there in the world, that I did not allow myself to indulge, because vanity lives here. The crippling side of vanity is to be so self-indulged that every wrinkle, extra pound or gray hair can either send you to a gym, the beauty parlor or a state of depression.

The only thing that can be done to quiet the woman in the mirror is acceptance. Acceptance is about more than saying the word, you must walk the walk. Life is full of so many wonderous things; it would be foolish to allow old age to throw a wrench into the works. For me life is a graduation period. We all start off as infants, then we graduate to the next stage in life. We crawl, then we walk, we learn to speak, and how to communicate with others. Then we reach that special time of independence, fitting in with the crowd or making friends. Those are the years when you believe that you could live forever. You’re invincible, nothing can stop you, or so we choose to believe. I remember that mirror in my youth, with its flawless image starring back at me. But now when I see her, I tell her that I can still see her youthful beauty and she is not alone.

I’ve found that old age has a life all its own. I mean like, there is a slew of us all over the planet. We have gray hair or no hair, laugh lines and twinkling eyes; we are young people in old bodies. I love me more now than I ever did in my youth. I’ve reached many goals, accomplished things that made me surprise myself. I can see the beauty of life and why it is so precious. Old age is not some cruel trick that life plays on us; nor is it preparation to death. It is a time when we put away childish thoughts and appreciate the beauties of life that go beyond our tight flesh. Everything that I approach now I do it with new eyes; I choose not to be bound by the reflection in the mirror but to embrace it.

To be continued...