Starting From Scratch

When making any signature dishes for a cookout everyone at the cookout wants to know if it’s made from scratch? Who made the macaroni? Who made the potato salad, was it made from scratch? Why do so many people care if it’s from a box or can? Did we ever wonder why so many people don’t cook from scratch? Why do we depend on mothers, aunties, and grandmas to start from scratch? Why don’t we expect the brothers, sisters, cousins, and kids to cook from scratch?

Sounds silly already, but ultimately I’ve been looking at this cookout from another perspective, see we’ve been looking at it out of fulfillment, if grandma or aunty makes these dishes from scratch everyone will stay long enough to mingle, drink, dance and then we will serve the food that everyone was waiting for, people might even take some leftovers, who knows maybe there won’t be enough left to take home?

Why is making all of this food from scratch giving Granny, Aunty, and Mom automatic cool points every holiday?

Because if you are bold enough to start from scratch you are going to get all the credit you deserve, you made a foundation for yourself!

You started from scratch, meaning every ingredient you put into your dish had meaning behind it, you got to measure how much goes into this dish, what exactly do you put into your dish, and what gives it that much recognition?

No one knows, because no one will ever take the time to sit with you and understand your technique, the way you prepared your dish, how much love you put into it, people want the recipe so they can duplicate it and gain that same fulfillment you did at your cookout. I look at these dishes, ingredients, and people like relationships, why are we so afraid to start from scratch? When that’s how our partner found us?

Seriously our partners noticed and loved our recipe because it was from scratch! They’ve never tasted someone like you before, possibly similar dishes from a box or can you know name brand dishes but your recipe from scratch, those exact measurements, those hints of ingredients they can taste but can’t quite name that’s what makes you so special.

We get wrapped up in love and begin to fall short at every cookout with our dish because we didn’t have enough time, confidence, freedom, or energy to make our signature dish the right way, after a while you start buying a box and can just to get you by, to get everyone at the cookout talking but you don’t get that same feedback, that same fulfillment, no one is talking, dancing, drinking, nothing the cookout is dead because the food is no longer from scratch!

No one is checking for your cookout, every year you get an invite from the neighbor you gave your recipe to and that’s the closest dish they have to what was once your dish from scratch. In relationships, we pour so much of ourselves into our partners and their expectations, dreams, and aspirations, in hopes of creating a fulfilling experience for you both but, in the end, no one is fulfilled.

After all, it’s no longer from scratch, you were making it from scratch it gave them a reason to love what you had to offer and what you created because they never knew what was in your dish they had to learn.

Starting from scratch isn’t always bad, starting from scratch doesn’t always have to be a breakup, starting from scratch can be a breakthrough, maybe your partner needs you to start from scratch, starting from scratch is scary, and of course, it takes time but it’s worth the fulfillment of everyone getting to know you again at the cookout, people asking who made this?

Get your credit for what you made, what you created, and the time you put into figuring out your dish.

The dish is you! Don’t let it go over your head.

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You can also check out my recent piece “ What time is it? ” here: