Press pause to process

When I was a newly-minted high school teacher, I’d stand in the front of the room and ask my class a question. A handful of students would instantly shoot their hands into the air hoping to be called on. The rest would sit and wait to hear the selected student’s answer. Nobody benefitted.

With more experience under my belt, I realized there was one small change that could make a large impact: pausing for think-time. I’d still ask the whole class a question, but instead of looking for hands immediately I’d leave a silent minute for students to consider the question and develop an idea or opinion. For particularly juicy questions — my favorite type — I’d have them share with a partner first to challenge and strengthen their views. When it came time to contribute answers to the full group, everyone in the room was ready and capable.

I’m no longer in the classroom, but I still tap into the power of think-time. Pausing to give myself the space to think is critical to my success. Despite this, I still have to fight the urge to dive straight into my to-do list. As an entrepreneur, it seems like:

• my task list is never-ending,
• my inbox is allergic to being empty, and
• my time is a precious resource.

I know I am not alone. Solopreneurs and members of small teams take on large loads — it’s the way of our worlds. But our tendencies to do, do, do instead of stepping away deliberately to take stock of what matters — and then move forward with greater intention — are holding us back.

The case for coworking and cothinking

When I moved into my apartment in 2018, my landlord touted its existing home office setup. I scoffed and told him that I would never work from home. As I type this at the computer mere feet away from my bedroom, the joke is clearly on me.

Siloed solopreneurs and remote workers, like myself, are often drawn to communities that promote collaboration, accountability, and productivity through virtual coworking. These communities create spaces designed for the grind: bring your to-dos and get $#*% done.

Knowing how powerful think-time is for coming up with your own unique answer, my team and I set out to create a community where members press pause and take stock of what matters most to them in the supportive presence of others. This is coworking’s counterpart, cothinking. It’s a different type of supportive space, and even the most fervent box checker can benefit from it.

How I press pause with Topknot Time

We’ve probably all heard the phrases “think before you act” or “slow down to speed up” — and here are a few examples of how I make those adages concrete in Topknot Time.

Exploring and defining my relationship with social media

Solo/entre-preneurs wear many hats, and one that I am always reluctant to wear is my “social media marketing” cap. Week after week I’d assign myself marketing tasks that I’d either drop (and subsequently feel guilty) or spend way too much time finishing because of emotional drain. Finally, I pressed pause to investigate why I felt the way I did and how I wanted to move forward. Through multiple Topknot Time sessions, I determined that there’s no TikTok stardom in my future, but sharing thoughts in writing feels much more aligned to who I am. I no longer waste time beating myself up for not doing the same activities I see so many others do effortlessly. This clarity has saved time and energy.

Setting intentions for important meetings

Sometimes I have the opportunity to meet with a key partner, potential collaborator, or a domain expert and I want to make the most of the time. In such cases, I often use Topknot Time to determine what success would look like for that interaction. Reflecting on what would be an exciting outcome helps me shape the agenda, form questions, and feel prepared.

Working from home — away from home

Work looks different when I am on the road. Even though my responsibilities don’t disappear when I am not at my desk, I try to balance opportunities for exploration with the tasks at hand. I had the idea to use Topknot Time to establish priorities during a week of travel once, and I’ve never looked back. Every time I head out of town, I ask myself what’s most important to determine what must stay on my calendar and what can be dropped. I set intentions for things I want to do and how I want to feel. It’s an hour of planning that makes my trips exactly what I need them to be.

An invitation to think-time

I asked my students for a silent minute to process their thoughts repeatedly throughout class; I am asking you to block off a social hour. I promise that the investment of time will unlock efficiencies in your week. Plus, you’ll be in the company of the hundreds of women+ who’ve come to a Topknot Time session and left feeling lighter, more connected, and clearer than when they started.