My Wish for Christmas

It's December 25th. I've been awake for three hours, my boyfriend is still fast asleep. The perfect time to reflect.

2020 has been quite the year, for everyone. It's brought about a lot of changes in general, but depending on where you are in the world it may have caused some massive holiday changes.

I saw a photo on Instagram that I saved months ago (posted by @becsands on November 24, 2019) -- it's a Christmas bucket list. I love this photo; it perfectly captures how I wish Christmas was every year.

(In case the photo doesn't work, below is essentially what it says -- the first half is what we generally do as a society, while the second half is what we could be replacing these things with. Credit: @becsands posted on Instagram on November 24, 2019!)

Buy presents --> Be present

Wrap gifts --> Wrap someone in a hug

Send gifts --> Send love

Shop for food --> Donate food

Make cookies --> Make memories

See the lights --> Be the light

I'll be honest, I'd still like to make cookies ... and I would have a hard time not buying presents for other people anyways (I love giving gifts!) ... but the overall feel of what Christmas is about is in that second half.

One year, when my dad still had Facebook, he posted something about me. He was proud of me and wanted to share with the world. You see, instead of exchanging gifts that year (because he says every year, "I don't need anything" -- same with my mom, my parents aren't gift people), I donated to an organization in my brother's honour, one that raises money for Autism.

Last year was my first Christmas with my boyfriend and his family. I was invited to join Secret Santa, and thankfully (almost) everyone filled out a wishlist that went into the bowl when we drew names -- easier for me, as the newbie! On my wishlist, I asked for a couple things. The first was my genuine wish: for my Secret Santa to donate to a charity of their choosing, and to write me a letter sharing the story behind why they chose it. The second thing on my list was something frivolous -- something I knew I would enjoy, but only added to my list because I told my mom my plan and she said "You can't do that to them! You have to give them something to work with." ... so, what happened? I received the second item on my list (which I did enjoy), plus another item that to this day (yes, a year later!) I still haven't used.

This year, our family's Christmas newsletter (now really just my dad's newsletter) was dedicated to my grandfather -- he passed away shortly after my dad sent out the 2019 newsletter, so he knew this year's would be written as a tribute to him. What was unexpected, however, was that my dad also sent Christmas cards with the letter -- something he hasn't done in years! When my dad and step-mother went through Grandpa's belongings, they came across dozens of Christmas cards (two of them personalized with our last name!) ... turns out, my grandfather received these blank cards from the variety of charities he donated to. He was a generous man, I knew that already -- this just gave everyone else a chance to see it, posthumously.

This is the kind of legacy I'd like to leave behind. These are the kind of things I'd like to do every year. I regret not doing MORE this season -- sending holiday newsletters, doing random acts of kindness, donating to charities. I regret not being more firm with my desires to not receive gifts -- I understand that other people also like to give, but I'd much rather they not waste their money on something I won't use, when it could go to a good organization and help someone who needs it more.

I can't live with regrets though; I can only move forward from here. So this is my Christmas 2021 Bucket List:

* Send my own newsletter to family and friends (+ see what organizations offer Christmas cards, to send with the newsletter)

* Donate to 3 charities (+ buy boyfriend's nephews' gifts from different organizations -- World Wildlife Fund has stuffed animals, Pure Art Foundation has books, etc.)

* Put "donate to a charity of choice" as my Secret Santa wish again -- keep making that attempt, one day it'll work

* Continue to do Christmas baking -- it's something I enjoy and it spreads the holiday cheer

(I'm sure as the year goes on I'll think of more things to add.)

Happy Holidays everyone!