my thoughts

\\: Any living thing that lives on this planet ends their life by dying. We have a certain amount of time to spend and we get to choose what we do with that time. What happens to us after we die is something nobody can bring forth hardcore evidence on. Everyone has their theories and assumptions, but nobody really knows. Our body is going to deteriorate once we die. Although what happens to our consciousness, does that part deteriorate too? Another question that nobody is able to give you an answer that comes with evidence. - The real question is; how are YOU going to spend your TIME?

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ALONE: // I made it through the heavy emotions without anyone but me. I picked myself up each time. & I will continue doing it. For me.

NOT YOUR fault: // Though remind yourself that this was never your fault. Nor did you ask for it. It is not a boulder you need to carry as you are not to blame. They are who to blame. It doesn't matter how much power they hold or the number of manipulations they cause. It will always be their fault. They are to blame. Nobody asks to be mistreated.

BIG WORLD: // Feeling these heavy emotions. Can get lonely. // I don't want the words I share to form pity. I hope it forms some comfort // That you are not alone, in this big world.

RED LIGHT: // the flashing red numbers that I constantly notice, yet ignore. // I was told my colour was red. that I looked good in red. /// yes. a red skirt /// But. not with a bright red light.

Starseed: // Being sensitive soul can be discouraging. Because we see a way the world can work better... Not just for us but everybody. Where everyone could benefit.

TRAFFIC LIGHT: // Traffic light. That was exactly what you were like. / Changing colours, which felt like being constantly on my toes // days went by, which turned to months and then to years. /// moulding each other to what we thought was for the best. // But once the flare faded / It became clear, how being on my toes isn't loved.

MOTIONS: // The details are shady. I will never be able to describe it frame by frame. The motions. I can describe those. Right in the middle of my chest. All the way to the top of my throat. to the beginning of my stomach. There's this ache with throbbing and frizzling motions. Sometimes it's small. Barely noticeable. Sometimes when you come and visit. It tends to slowly get bigger. The frizzling spreads. Covering my airways. Then I forget to breathe.

SELF LOVE: // Finding love within yourself. You begin to see how much beauty you are surrounded by. /// Finding love in you for YOU. is the key. You are the key master of your life. // You have the ability to create. Everybody does. \\\ This ability doesn't disappear. It just weakens like any human muscle. If not trained.

|| It will feel like forever and that it’s never going to end. The good thing is, that it won’t last. Even though it will feel like it.

Feelings come and go. They aren’t met to stay forever. They ever do.

- a gentle reminder. ||

healing

:// Time is your best friend with healing. During this time / get to know yourself. Getting in touch with your true SELF // Healing is for YOU. It's time to understand yourself and learn to love YOU. ///

Healing doesn't just benefit you. It benefits every part of you. Past to future. - The stresses that the future holds are terrifying. You don't know the details, on what could happen or those 'what ifs'.

Practises like meditating, yoga or other spiritual practises having been embedded within Eastern Asian cultures. They've practised it for centuries. Whereas Western culture. It's not promoted and not many know how to do so.

Quieting our mind takes practise and time. It comes hand in hand with everything else. Learning to let go, detach, go with the flow and let go of needing control.

With time it's not the timing you expect it. Because you get to a point. Where you realise that this is more than healing you. You are healing all parts of you and the bloodline. Past, Present and Future. //: There are three ways of taking in new information in perspective. Through the lenses of the past, present and future.

The past is associated with good times and bad ones. How you view or accept your past can influence your present decisions, thoughts and moment. - With the future, nobody can tell you the details. Someone is maybe able to show you a sketch plan. Although We will not know the grand finish until the future becomes the present.

The present is where everything is. Where the real comfort and treasure is. It's the middle and the now. It's the beginning but never-ending. // There is no clear finish line. Just the Present Moment.

Accepting yourself as WHOLE:

It can be hard for many to admit and take accountability for the harm that they've caused. It requires honesty and nakedness for the soul. Accepting your true self comes with accepting the good and the bad you have done. They both make you, whole.

I think that's were emptiness comes from. The sense of not being whole and not being complete on your own. That comes from not accepting your WHOLE self. Every aspect of your past and the actions you've made makes you who you are. It's up to you to forgive and show compassion and love to the parts of you that you've hated on and criticized for almost your whole life.

// You have been living life through your inner critic voice and the negative self-talk. Living your life through them will eat your soul. Inner critic and negative self-talk come from fear, expectations, pressure, although not always created by you. There is this inner dialogue within you based on other projections of their own fears and limitations. We adsorbed their fears and limitations because that's the only tool we were given. \\

Be Kinder. Less Critical.