Life, Changes

At 35 years old, I have seen a lot and done a lot more. Most things people can not imagine. Just when I think I get a grip on life, I figure out something new to learn or some improvement I would like to work towards. I'm thrown a curve ball and have to learn how to cope with something new, all over again.

I am not an easy individual to understand. I change a lot, I evolve all the time. One of the best things I have ever learned and am still learning is how to adapt when life totally changes.

In a year of us being in an RV (which was originally our dream), I have learned I do not like living in one lol. I appreciate the knowledge of knowing now that there is no way we could be full-timers. I appreciate the freedom it has given us to pay debts off. (We are much better off than we were a year ago). Living here has taught me a lot about myself including that I am allowed to be mad/sad but I will not allow myself to stay there, that I can quite literally do anything and everything I put my mind to, and that it is okay to not want to be around certain people without giving a full explanation. I have expanded my view of the world tremendously and the understanding of how people tick, without neighbors always telling me I am wrong (we lived in an apartment building before). I have watched from afar as I found out the truth about people that I thought were friends. I have watched Karma kick people in the teeth right after I found out they had been screwing me over for years. I watched people have to move out of this beautiful state I call home. I have watched people change for the good and bad. I have learned that sometimes some people come into your life to remind you why you don't speak to them and some people never change. I have cried, screamed, been terrified and healed all on my own, with my husband cheering me on. My marriage is ten times stronger and this year I learned that no matter who doesn't like me I still have my best friend. I learned that all the things I was called crazy for really exist on this side, physically. I have met outrageous people and seen more insane things in a year than in my entire life thus far. I have learned that my whole life could have turned out completely for the worse, had I not been so determined to live. I have learned who I do not want to be or be like. I have harnessed more of my abilities than I can even explain. I have completely stopped having meltdowns, panic attacks, and mastered resting bitch face. I have seen the government lose its' shit while I just watched. I have seen a lot of people die, I have walked away from situations and people not meant for me. I now know how to learn the lesson and get the hell out of there. I am no longer afraid of my past or anyone in it and I am finally learning what closure means. I have no desire to re-visit any of it but I am also not afraid to talk about it if it is important. I learned that no one has to approve of who or what I am and I am not required to give a shit. That at the end of the day, my intuition, psychic abilities and feelings are ALWAYS correct. I have found my happy medium with "knowing" things about people and still having respect for them as a person. I have learned how to have a gentle hand with life but still stand my ground when I need to. I have found my voice... loud, proud, and unwavering. My faith in my husband and myself is stronger than ever.

So cheers to 2020. To change and finding what makes my soul happy. To prosperity and the realization of dreams. To bringing my tribe home. To peace and tranquility, even if the rest of the world is insane. To living and prospering during what could only be described as a world-wide apocalypse because destruction is a catalyst for change. To knowing thyself always. To love and dreams coming true. To knowing I am and will always be okay. To more terrific memories and fun. To less surviving and more living. To loving my husband and myself more. I welcome all of it.