Just Throw It Away Already!

I worked my way to the back of the closet to where all my skinny jeans were. No, not the leg style (apparently only for millennials now but we'll leave that for another time) but the skinny jeans everybody has stored in the closet for that day when you finally lose those 15 pounds (or 30) that just won't come off.

I pulled out the dusty, size 27 Lucky Brand jeans that I splurged on in Kansas City. I took them off the hanger and held them up and sighed.

I'm never fitting into these fucking things.

I've cleaned out my closet every year and I've held onto these jeans for at least 5 years. I finally threw them out. I accepted that I was never going to fit into them. The truth is, I got tired of holding on to them. I was holding on to the hope that I would lose the extra weight, and every time I saw the jeans it was just a reminder that I failed that year to 'get skinny.' Well this year I was cleaning out my closet, both literally and figuratively. Us skinny- jeans-and-side-part gals will automatically think of the Eminem song here.

Here are three big ideas to optimize your life:

1.) Ditch the Diet Culture Mindset

Ever since we were young, we've been bombarded with images of thin and skinny. Do you remember a plus-sized Disney character? Yeah, me neither.

I don't remember the first time I was called fat. I was overweight for a majority of my childhood so I'm sure I was called fat many times but there is one time that sticks out in my mind. I was in seventh grade, 9th period. End of the day, everyone was ready to go home. We couldn't leave the room until everyone was seated. A kid, who I thought was my friend said "sit down fat-ass." That stung. I guess it's because I always knew him to be nice so when he said that it really hurt.

I went on my first diet shortly after that incident. There was an ad in the back of a teen magazine. It was a little cut-out add for a diet book. It had a vague title, something like "Drop a dress size in 14 days" or "The 14-Day Diet." I got $20 from my dad, folded it into a Kleenex (so nobody could see there was cash in the envelope, duh) and mailed it in. Four-to six weeks later my book came.

I followed that book to a "T." I ate 1000 calories a day and exercised at least once a day, twice some days if I could sneak it in. It worked. I lost 40 pounds and my period. I thought life was going to be easy now. Well, surprise, it wasn't.

This was my life for the next 22 years. Diet-culture life. I scrolled Instagram nightly for workouts that I would save for later (I don't think I have EVER done a workout I saved for later) and looking at bodies that most people will never look like. It didn't help me to lose weight and it didn't make me happy.

One day I came across a post saying something similar to what I'm about to say. Stop dieting. Stop exercising to lose weight or to punish yourself for eating. Eat for your health, not to lose weight. Exercise because you want to do something good for your body. Exercise because you want to honor your body. In the words of Stuart, "Look what I can do!"

2.) Just Say No

I remember D.A.R.E. class in grade school. "Just say no" was the motto they taught us. They should have been teaching us to say no to things and people that don't serve us. Here are some things you should be saying "no" to:

Image from Dare.org

-Just say no to negative self-talk. Not only does it make you feel like crap but you are showing others that it's ok to talk down to you. You wouldn't talk that way to someone else, so why would you do it to yourself?

-Just say no to going out when you don't really want to. Sometimes we are so emotionally drained that we just can't interact with people, and that's ok! Don't let people guilt you into doing things. If you don't want to do something, then don't. Period. Life is too short to be doing crap you don't want to be doing.

- Say no to bad anythings. Bad pizza, bad movies, bad books, bad sex! Don't finish a movie or a book just because you've invested time into it, take a lesson from economics, this is the sunk cost fallacy. The same can be said about relationships. Just get out, sis!

3.) Gratitude Makes the Attitude

Ever hear the saying, "fake it til you make it?" Well that's kind of like what having a positive attitude is like. You may not have the best life or all the money in the world but remaining positive can open the doors for good things to come. Attract the good with good thoughts.

You can start a daily gratitude list or read a daily affirmation. Take a few minutes out of each day and just reflect on all the positives. Not only in your life but in the world, too. Once I started to incorporate these small actions into my daily ritual, my life just seemed better. After all, your perception can become your reality. It really is up to you.

These are ways you can improve your outlook on life going into the new season, new and improved!