How to Fight

Fight: Feelings of despair #Gratitude

Fight: Feelings of hopelessness #Iamenough

Fight: Feelings of insecurity #Iamloved

Fight: Feelings of unworthiness #Iamworthy

Feelings, We All Have Them

Something overcomes me when taunted or at the thought of someone I love being taken advantage of, or, made to feel disregarded and useless. It's an almost instantaneous feeling, a warmth inside my stomach and chest and once it reaches my head, someone's in for a tongue-lashing. As my Life Coach instructor says, "feelings are valid, feelings are real but they are not based in reality; they are based in your perception of reality." Feelings at best are temporary emotions but how important are they in a fight? They get you halfway there, that is their purpose but you'll need much more than a feeling to win a fight.

Everyday is a fight

After a fight, you either feel empowered, guilty or defeated in most instances. Some people's approach to fighting is to eradicate their opponent, the last man standing wins it all! Rarely does the winner "win it all" even in boxing matches, they only win the fight, prize and the title. Ok, they do win a lot and it is because they're a better, more seasoned fighter, more skilled at sportsmanship, trained harder and so reached a rightful victory. Fighting requires mental agility as much as it does physical endurance and stamina. Why fight at all? Do we have a primal urge to dominate for territory, prominence, stability, love? It is our very nature to fight. Is all fair in love and war? I don't know. My fight for someone else's love usually ends in defeat and I've never gone to war. I can tell you what I do know... I feel love in everything that I do and for everyone who is in my heart. I strive to live compassionately and I fight for everything and everyone I believe in. What I cannot do is fight another person's battles for them. I've tried and failed time and time again.

How to come off victorious-

1) Have a desire to fight. I want to be a “social justice warrior,” it’s my way of pushing humanity forward to radical acceptance. How's my training? Shallow at best but that can change and it has ever since June of last year. I don't need to share the same experiences to know that injustices and racism need to be eradicated. It truly hurts my heart... The "hunt" of Ahmaud Arbery on the property of the McMichaels in Georgia. The way the three men, drove him off the road, hitting him with their cars... One human body, a black body, a young man accused and judged by the same people who would shoot and kill him. A citizen's arrest does not mean terrorizing and murdering an innocent human being because you think they loitered around your property. Attorney Benjamin Crump has been a beacon of hope to the black, underserved community who suffered loss by the hands of murderers who hide behind the law that they disregard, to kill... Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd. I applaud the man, he is a social justice warrior. When the laws do not protect you, who will?

2) Have a reason to fight. As a BIPOC woman living in the United States with Caribbean heritage, I have a unique perspective and experience having lived the first 10 years of my life in the Caribbean. Everyday that experience influences my choices. I don't know how other people feel when they see me. It's hard for me to comprehend human beings hating me at first sight because of the complexion of my skin but they do. I'm automatically in a ring with my opponents without even choosing to be there. It's a reality that I must accept. The micro-aggressions don't bother me as much and maybe if I grew up in America they would, or, so my Black American friends seem to think. I lived in south Florida for most of my adult life. The Spanish people there can be racist and you know what? As a fellow "minority," I think it's more of an insecurity than actually hating me because of my skin color. A lot of Spanish people are the same complexion as me, everyone assumed I was Cuban or from the Dominican Republic until they found out that I didn't speak Spanish. The shame they wanted me to feel was real. I still don't blame them. I'm not going to become racist because someone else is racist. Latinas in America have the highest GDP. I respect their hustle... That's their fight and we can all learn a thing or two from them. Which leads me to my next talking point...

The fight for Recognition-

3) Recognize your fight. There's a lot of gas in this fight, you need a lot of ammunition... Gas without ammunition is just gas and sadly that's how it feels to want recognition but not attain it. Heat, oxygen and fuel are the components of a combustion. Everyone wants to be "on fire" or "lit" it's a success euphemism but rarely do they know how to actually get there. Now for a quick science lesson, trust me, it's relevant: Combustion is the scientific word for burning. In a combustion reaction, a substance reacts with oxygen from the air. Combustion reactions happen at high temperatures, and transfer energy to the surroundings as light and heat. This is why you see flames when things burn. One important combustion reaction is that of methane. Methane reacts with oxygen from the air and produces either a hot blue or an orange flame. The energy that the reaction produces can be used to heat water, cook food, generate electricity or even power vehicles.

How's that for a quick rundown on what you need to be on fire? *Insert Alicia Keys, "Girl On Fire" song* How do we apply it to our fight for recognition? Is this a proven method to start a fire? Will it always ignite a flame? Take what you must from this analogy but to gain recognition, a process beyond an individual effort is needed. There's gotta not only be substance (ammunition) but there's gotta be sustainability (oxygen) and value (light) to get that fire up and burning. Can other people see your light? Can they feel your heat? “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”-African Proverb In other words, your recognition is not your own claim to fame, but it is gained from what others contribute to, or, even nominate you for. Be your own chemist but realize that if you don't have what it takes to ignite a flame, then you won't ever win recognition. No one wants to fight an unworthy opponent. Which leads me to my next point...

Are you eligible to fight?

4) Become a worthy opponent. Sure, there are qualifications for any fight, any effort, any pursuit, be it of an education, a run for office, an exam, a boxing match, joining the army, getting married, starting a family... Are the boxes checked for your eligibility? You're going to need to check your own boxes, if you wait for someone else to check them then you aren't fighting, they are. What happens to a soldier in war that cannot fight for himself? He becomes dead weight, literally... Pay attention to your indicators. Test them regularly- input, output, outcome and impact.

What role does anger play in a fight?

5) Check your fuel levels. Anger is a secondary emotion and often as a result of dissatisfaction, shame, insecurity and even guilt, we become angry. Just like a fire, (I told you I love fire in my spiritual candles article) anger must be doused with reason in order to become a fire. Not only that but fire is a useful tool in a number of ways, so too, once directed with a purpose, anger can be useful in reaching a resolution. You cannot deny or ignore the "wood" so to speak that you may be collecting to make this fire, or, to feel anger. Collect each emotion and set them on fire so as to avoid burning them all at once, which could cause an uncontrollable reaction leading to destruction. Anger is a good motivator for change. It is necessary in a fight but uncontrollable anger is damaging to you and fighting in this manner will no doubt cause you to loose the fight.

Educate Yourself

6) Learn how to win a fight. We’ve all heard the saying, “Choose your battles well.” I say, you’ve gotta know what you’re fighting for or else you will always be fighting a loosing battle. No one wants to loose a fight and that is why you need to arm yourself with education. The greatest thing about this tool is that we never stop learning. We learn about ourselves, our likes and dislikes constantly. Things we thought were impossible last year, seem necessary this year. We cannot deny ourselves this ability to fight. We even fight with ourselves daily. Self-awareness is just as important a fuel for our fight. Whatever it is that moves you, it does so for a reason. That my friends is your reason to fight. We win many fights each day and hopefully this article ignited your inner warrior and made peace with it. Are you ready for battle?

Here are some good battles to fight in the name of justice, equality and human rights:

Justice LA #carenotcages https://justicelanow.org/about/

Reform LA Jails #MeasureR https://voteyesonr.org/about/

Everyone In #homesendhomelessness https://everyoneinla.org/about-us/

BLM #breatheact

Just to clarify- Defunding the police does not make them unnecessary, it makes them not the only solution.